I'm pretty sure about being a type 4, but lately I've been doubtful about other aspects of my enneagram:
4w3 or 4w5?
Why 4w3: I'm ambitious, goal oriented and more than an average 4 I desire to be liked and popular. I'm image focused, expressive and I value social status. I'm aware of how I can influence other people, how to make a good imperssion and I'm lively with more or less positive and friendly vibes for a 4. I'm not as "dark" as typical 4s might appear, definitely not when I'm on healthier levels of my behavior. I'm highly aware of trends, fashion and I try to have sort of a "cool" vibe. Success and social admirations are both one of the most important things in my life that I need in order to feel happiness.Not only that I want to seem different and individualistic, I need to be someone worth of price, attention and success. I like to perform, singing, acting, public speaking I enjoy it all. I also like to attract attention with my sense of fashion and style.
Why 4w5: I'm emotionally withdrawn in most of the situations and I seem very calm and phlegmatic on the surface. I don't like to emotionally engage, or to express how I feel unless I use an artistic form. Even though I'm usually polite to people, I always keep a distance. I hate drama and most of my feelings just turn inwards. I like to think about things, to analyze not only my feelings but also the world around me. I'm very critical about new information unless I know all the facts. I like to learn and I tend to have intellectual obessions, sometimes I value intellect over emotion. I often feel anxiety about that I do not understand logically which can often bring me to doubts about existence and nihilism. I do not believe anything that I cannot be explianed by logic or facts.
so: I value social status, success, social hierarchy and I easily understand group dynamics. Having a feeling like I belong to a group and I'm accepted by others is very important for me, this however does not exhibit as being more friendly or extroverted, on the contrary out of fear of being rejected and humiliated I'm extremelly introverted in groups. I do not start conversation with others unless I'm totally sure of being liked and I hate team work and group activities because they usually activate all of my feelings of shame and inferiority. I've always been torn between belonging to a group, fitting myself into a social system and being an individual. I often feel at war between being sort of a comforist and someone who doesn't want to belong. I'm also very critical of social groups and I often categorize people based on their belonging to a group rather then their invididual atributes.
sx: I enjoy intimate relationships and I feel at my best in one on conversation. When I develop a certain closeness with people, I like to make them feel like they are special to me so I like to share my secrets and deepest feelings with the few ones I choose. Distance between me and people is important for me,when the relationship goes the right direction, I always try to make them uniqe, one of the kind thing.
As a 4 I tend to envy people and compare myself to others while I always feel like being at a silent competition with them. I tent to get passionate about things and people that really matter to me, but I choose those carefully. I like it when life exciting, thrilling, passionate and active, but I need someone else to bring the passion, because sometimes I'm just too withdrawn.
sp: I'm protective when it comes to own self image and I value my own person space. I don't like to be interrupted and I'm very protective of my own integrity, freedom and privacy. I tend to get paranoid when it comes to health and my body and I tend to have sort of...weird pet peeves that even I do not understand, but I care a lot about what I eat, how much I eat, I try to live healthy and take care of my needs. Sometimes however it happens that I become a victim of my own impluses and binge eat, or restrict and can't find a balance between the two. I sometimes tend to obsess over health matters and food to the point it might seem crazy to others.
Other than that I'm the worse person with money, material security, order, cleaness, keeping the enviroment pleasant, because I'm capeable of living in incredible mess that most people can't handle.
When it comes to tirtype I think about 459, 469, 479 and 471.
4w3 or 4w5?
Why 4w3: I'm ambitious, goal oriented and more than an average 4 I desire to be liked and popular. I'm image focused, expressive and I value social status. I'm aware of how I can influence other people, how to make a good imperssion and I'm lively with more or less positive and friendly vibes for a 4. I'm not as "dark" as typical 4s might appear, definitely not when I'm on healthier levels of my behavior. I'm highly aware of trends, fashion and I try to have sort of a "cool" vibe. Success and social admirations are both one of the most important things in my life that I need in order to feel happiness.Not only that I want to seem different and individualistic, I need to be someone worth of price, attention and success. I like to perform, singing, acting, public speaking I enjoy it all. I also like to attract attention with my sense of fashion and style.
Why 4w5: I'm emotionally withdrawn in most of the situations and I seem very calm and phlegmatic on the surface. I don't like to emotionally engage, or to express how I feel unless I use an artistic form. Even though I'm usually polite to people, I always keep a distance. I hate drama and most of my feelings just turn inwards. I like to think about things, to analyze not only my feelings but also the world around me. I'm very critical about new information unless I know all the facts. I like to learn and I tend to have intellectual obessions, sometimes I value intellect over emotion. I often feel anxiety about that I do not understand logically which can often bring me to doubts about existence and nihilism. I do not believe anything that I cannot be explianed by logic or facts.
so: I value social status, success, social hierarchy and I easily understand group dynamics. Having a feeling like I belong to a group and I'm accepted by others is very important for me, this however does not exhibit as being more friendly or extroverted, on the contrary out of fear of being rejected and humiliated I'm extremelly introverted in groups. I do not start conversation with others unless I'm totally sure of being liked and I hate team work and group activities because they usually activate all of my feelings of shame and inferiority. I've always been torn between belonging to a group, fitting myself into a social system and being an individual. I often feel at war between being sort of a comforist and someone who doesn't want to belong. I'm also very critical of social groups and I often categorize people based on their belonging to a group rather then their invididual atributes.
sx: I enjoy intimate relationships and I feel at my best in one on conversation. When I develop a certain closeness with people, I like to make them feel like they are special to me so I like to share my secrets and deepest feelings with the few ones I choose. Distance between me and people is important for me,when the relationship goes the right direction, I always try to make them uniqe, one of the kind thing.
As a 4 I tend to envy people and compare myself to others while I always feel like being at a silent competition with them. I tent to get passionate about things and people that really matter to me, but I choose those carefully. I like it when life exciting, thrilling, passionate and active, but I need someone else to bring the passion, because sometimes I'm just too withdrawn.
sp: I'm protective when it comes to own self image and I value my own person space. I don't like to be interrupted and I'm very protective of my own integrity, freedom and privacy. I tend to get paranoid when it comes to health and my body and I tend to have sort of...weird pet peeves that even I do not understand, but I care a lot about what I eat, how much I eat, I try to live healthy and take care of my needs. Sometimes however it happens that I become a victim of my own impluses and binge eat, or restrict and can't find a balance between the two. I sometimes tend to obsess over health matters and food to the point it might seem crazy to others.
Other than that I'm the worse person with money, material security, order, cleaness, keeping the enviroment pleasant, because I'm capeable of living in incredible mess that most people can't handle.
When it comes to tirtype I think about 459, 469, 479 and 471.