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Post Enneagram Paradoxes or Vicious Cycles

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...and how to escape them:
Like this, for instance:


5 wants the be competent but when they explain things without people asking, they achieve the opposite effect showing their inadequacy and how non-smart they are, further wanting to master the situation intellectually, making it worse.

Solution: The 5 can learn about when to say something (they love learning) and can stay detached when mistakes happen.


1 wants to be perfect but the more they criticize, the more of a mess they create.

Solution: 1 can realize their hypocrisy and remind themselves that they should be the role model first.


3 wants to be adored/confident but their self-aggrandizing antics to get praise make them look like an insecure idiot. The second paradox: They know it since they're the most self-aware type, but still can't help it as they're trapped in their own image and go on being delusional, otherwise they'd have to invalidate themselves.

Solution: 3's virtue is being truthful so when they let their image down humbly, people likely won't resent it and will praise them more.


2 wants to help but ends up immobilizing the other person because they take on way too much. In fact, many 2s make themselves so dependent that the other person ultimately has a very hard time without them, further creating the need for their "help" - it goes round and round. The love they want to receive and actually get is usually something due to the other person's immense guilt or emotional debt.

Solution: 2 can see how they experience love through seeing the other person independently handling their problems, being more fulfilled.

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