[Socionics] EXTENDED HOTELAMBUSH QUESTIONNAIRE - Desperate to know my type - hopeless case - every kind of help is welcome

Feel free to ask any questions. I've been trying to determine my type for, like, years.:confused: I'd love any Socionics/Socionics with subtype/MBTI/Enneagram feedback. Especially the first one.

tl;dr begins...:hello:

Tell me about yourself.
This question seems like an AA introduction, and I don’t even drink. I have no clue for how long this paragraph ought to be and the question itself is too vague to answer it properly – response would be either too long or too short. I could write an essay about myself, not only because I’m very egocentric and have plenty of free time right now, but also it’s difficult to specify the angle from which one should be described.

What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I took up classes of biology, chemistry and mathematics at high school, aiming to get to medschool. I didn’t make it, and now I’m beginning studying psychology, I’ll try to get involved in research and immerse myself in that field because I’m interested in it. Medicine is still a plan for me, and further I’d love to become a psychiatrist, but, all in all, I’d be satisfied being a doctor of other specialization. Long time ago, I dreamed of being of veterinarian – I wanted to help those who were left out by humankind, then a scientist – my love for knowledge, as a psychiatrist I would love to guide people and do my own research. It wasn’t a decision actually. I visited hospitals frequently – there I saw that people’s diseases are complex riddles yet to be solved. I thought – psychiatry is the best field; riddles of human brains and experiences. But then I thought: I’m too insensitive for that. I’m not organized. I’m not active. And… I’ve got no important qualities of a psychiatrist. I didn’t think about it for a few years – but now, when I talk about my future, I’m sure about my future career. It seems like my subconscious got tired of my insecurities and did a choice of itself. Now I see that I fit perfectly: I am analytical, philosophical and introspective, emotional, but to some extent, both scientific, rational and artistic, humanistic. Oh, and I love getting stories out of people. And talking without saying a word.

What are your values, and why?
Being true to yourself; that’s the key. Despite doing some social acting on my own, trying to give out the best, maybe not truest, version of myself, I rely on what I believe is the essence of my character, and expect the same from others. I loathe myself after long periods of time when I put on a mask to impress anyone. I try not to hide anything, and to give sincerest answers, managing not to hurt anybody at the same time. Sincerity – another value of mine. The harshest truth is better than a white lie of best intent. Being a kid, I couldn’t lie, even tell something only half-true. When I acknowledged that it ends up with people being upset or feeling insulted, I tried to “blur” the truth in order to convey the meritum in the message and make it more bearable. Now I’m kind of indirect and blurry myself because of that, this makes many social treaties and overall communication tricky.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I’m sluggish and disorganized, ending up doing irrelevant and unproductive stuff like social media. As for interests, there are many of them. I’m scattered. Lots of unrelated things, none of them perfected. It’s funny, when some geek sees that you know something about something, gets infatuated with perceived interest of both of you, then sees that’s only “something” and gets terribly disappointed with you (happened a few times; that’s a pattern). I love psychology (both reading about that, observing in action and making up own teories), philosophy (it feels like talking and debating and arguing with geniuses of one’s choice), science, poetry (abstract and ironic), art (mostly modern and/or/ conceptual) aaand… the list goes on! Part two: doing things. I like drawing from life (too unskilled to draw from imagination, but I’d love to!), I play the piano and the guitar, where I like fast, technically difficult and repetitive pieces (but I’ve taken some interest in improvisation lately), sometimes I write (stories never longer than a few pieces; I lack motivation; poems are quicker to write and are more accurate at expressing oneself’s ideas), I like sport, but I’m terrible at it. I love watching movies! Getting immersed in people’s stories and meanings of events, also the beauty of moving images. I… like? Reading books. I’ve got some serious problems with concentration, so it’s difficult for me to read, but when I actually read, I choose wisely. Something, which will help me grow as a person and understand something.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
Despite some passive–aggressive behaviour from her side and plainly aggressive behavior from my side and some quarrels, I find an unique and sincere connection with my mother; lots of understanding. She is a bit too spiritual and unrealistic and too emotional in a mushy, “watery eyes”, way, and I’m more “cold” and rational, but we quickly get the other person’s point. General misunderstanding with my father; never-ending conflict. He’s very domineering and uncompromising, I am very fragile and take everything to heart, his every word of disapproval is wounding me deeply. I highly appreciate the atmosphere, that calm, unintellectual, peaceful atmosphere of social gatherings; it’s always warm and welcoming. I’ve got a love/hate relationship with one of my friends. We say hurtful things to each other, then don’t say a word for a long time, and begin with a tabula rasa of some sort once again, but there’s always the room for being open and honest, we know each other thoroughly, with all the fears and passions. We are both very creative and quirky and our collaborations are always fruitful. Same sense of humour. The other friend of mine is complementary to me, emotionally. I’m very internally intensive, but don’t give off much of it, she’s very open and friendly; very expressive. We are usually talking about our impressions and experiences. I’ve also got a friend who is very introverted and reserved. We have long discussions about human behavior (especially of our observations about real-life cases). It always gets psychological and philosophical. We both get an essence of somebody, and analyse a lot groups dynamics. She’s good at noticing strange patterns and making conclusions; I help her broaden it a bit. I always rely on her advice. She’s more calculating and distant than a common impression of her. She’s also very cynical and sarcastic. I think I’m closest to understand her from all her friends. They are all veeery intelligent, curious and intellectual in their special way. I can’t connect deeply with anybody who can’t keep up with my thoughts. I’ve got also acquaintances who are either opposite to my character and they are interesting to learn from or observe, or we are centered around same interest. They are (the relationships, not people) rather shallow; and I don’t like “shallow”.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
A friend: someone who is intelligent, who can get me, with whom I can have fruitful conversations. Someone who won’t hurt me: who is able to dissect his own personality and emotions (and talk about it). Someone with whom I can be fully honest and who isn’t offended easily. Someone interested in arts and science. People who aren’t obnoxious and think a lot.
I have a habit to fall for artistic creatures, who like to pose and emotionally manipulate, very charming. Again: intelligent people. Intelligence gets me going (sexually and romantically). An emotional, poetical pose – that’s very sexy. Emotions boiling and hitting you instantly. They are also artistically ACTIVE – some writing, some acting… you know. A bit of sense of humour is al For long-term relationship, I look for somebody, who is calm, negotiating, conciliatory BUT decisive – because I’m not. Someone who is empathetic, friendly and understanding but not oversensitive and ticklish, paradoxically, not manipulative emotionally in any way; mature, grounded. Who has imagination and can stimulate me intellectually;philosophical. Initiative,active. Well-read. Quiet and thoughtful.

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I had a conflict with my friend; I told her my opinion about her crush (plainly objective and not negative nor positive); she got angry at me and told me that I keep giving people negative opinions without even knowing them. Then I said that I can guess somebody’s typical behavior without knowing them via little information if I have abilities to do so, then she said than nobody can have such abilities and… so on. She generally can’t stand generalisations and conclusions and gets very emotional and fierce about that. I tend to provoke conflicts myself – when I’m irritated with someone’s nonsensical behavior or not backing up opinions with facts. Then I quarrel fiercely. I’m quite arrogant, stand-offish and single-minded.

How would your friends describe you?
(some will occur more than once) People who’ve only recently got to know me: very cold and distant; quiet. Probably bookworm. Nerd. Very intelligent and organized tho. Nice and polite. Not very expressive (not at all). Won’t say a word: only listens. Colleagues and acquaintances: cheerful and very funny. Very creative, imaginative. Probably genius. Intelligent. Broad interests and weird knowledge. Organised. Probably bookworm. Very poetic and artistic. Also: very logical. Scientific. Strange and whimsical. Romantic. Competitive. Very friendly and warm; helpful. Sensitive. Very good conversationalist and speaker. Talkative, but good listener. Linguistically talented; great writer. Knows psychology well. Clever, quirky, intellectual. Friends: 1. Domineering, tough, arrogant. Know-it-all. Imaginative. Single-minded. Passive-aggressive. Controlling. Funny. A good student. Scattered. Unorganised. Inventive. Curious, courageous, social. Nice and empathetic with others; “too honest”. Not very sensitive. Quiet and mysterious. A scientific mind. Ambitious. 2. Internally very sensitive. Emotional. Empathetic. Ambitious. Good listener. Good taste, interest in arts. Very nice and friendly. Helpful, decisive, organized, bookworm, well-read. Probably genius. Opinionated and decisive. Good writer, linguistically gifted. Calm and very intuitive. Very analytical. Plans a lot, and have an idea for everything, have a back-up plan for everything. Thinks about everything. Grounded and rational. 3. Artistic, intellectual, warm and welcoming. Not oversensitive, head in the clouds, sluggish, unorganized. Intelligent, underachiever. Socially somehow extroverted, but introvert in real life. Loves a debate. Loves a discussion. Intellectual. Sarcastic. Dark humour. Talkative. Scattered. Deep thinker. Imaginative, fairy. Not a romantic, not sentimental. Likes groups and 1-1 conversations. Somehow rebellious.
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People think I’m intelligent, creative and imaginative, that’s actually what I see as my strength. I like creating my own patterns and interconnections.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
Others often say that I’ve got my head in the clouds and I’m quite unstable and disconnected from the real world; daydreamer. I have also problems with “adult chores”, like filling in papers, paying taxes, executing something. I fear offices and figures of power, especially having to interact with them, I feel inferior. I’m also very inactive, there is a long way from a thought to action, I’m an underachiever because of that. Making hasty decision is also burdensome.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
1. Organizing abstract things intellectually, planning mentally, inventing solutions, friendships
2.Taking action, initiative, DOING things, bureaucracy, making decisions, socializing without fear, focus and concentrating

What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
Getting a life; job, adulthood, everything from official side. Organising… real stuff? Like my room. Cleaning up. DOING things. Negotiating/talking with authority figures, official contracts, making real-life organizing, transactions, business.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
A career where I’d fully immerse myself: be a positive form of workaholic, passionate about it. Earn enough money to buy a big flat and raise children and have some free time for my hobbies and myself. Keep up with friends and cherish them. Find an understanding and clever partner. These are standard, normal things I guess.

If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
I would take up many extracurricular activities, engage fully in my education, end my studies and help people for free, maybe some non-profit organization activity. My own research…

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
1. It’s endearing when… somebody opens up with you instantly, being a complete stranger. Being emotionally vulnerable is the quickest way to get to know with someone. I also love ridiculously abstract debates, debating for the sake of debating. It’s sometimes flirtatious. I like bad jokes and puns, because I think making oneself dumb (making that kind of naïve jokes) helps to release the tension in group and cheer up everybody, and I highly appreciate people making these jokes.
2. Being annoyingly positive. Trying to cheer you up for the sake of it. I think it is egoistical – someone is crying and that kind of person is all like “ugh, he’s crying and making me upset, stop!”, so he/she tries to cheer up said crying person, motivations are really tricky here. I hate any kind of coaching or “you can do it!”, I find it annoying because it’s fake and naïve.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I usually just try to make order. It is just enough. I’m not interested in decorating at all. I have some fancy figurines, but… As for my daily chores –I can’t put up with them, they are too much, I hate them… I hate routine…

How do you behave around strangers?
1 on 1, I try to get a grasp of who someone is. Lots of questions from my side. In groups, I only listen and try to react with others (for example, laugh). I’m very timid with strangers.. I’m either very cold, quiet, distant, polite, or try to win them over with my sense of humour and paranoid self-exposing. It’s difficult for me to be warm for strangers; but I do try really hard.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Insults and attacks are very hurtful, after a few remarks I can start crying, I am very responsive to moods, aggression and negative attitude and can’t stand long conflicts. I usually start conflicts myself and try to get a “higher” position than my interlocutor, otherwise I tear down emotionally. I hate attacks and aggression from other people; it scares me.

What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
Everything will be fine, if only you want it to be. I don’t believe in magical thinking, I believe that everything is coincidental, there is no fate, we can’t steer our life nor control it. There is also a common misconception that humans are superior to animals; I’m not vegan or anything (yet), but… humans are animals. And will die out, sooner or later. Nobody will help us as a species.

What did you do last Friday?
Nothing much. I watched some movie, then went online. In the evening I went to some gig. Having holidays, I don’t do much.


What is your biggest accomplishment?
Getting over my insecurities, oversensitivity, emotional ups and downs, social anxiety and probably some psychical disorders

What is something you regret?
I regret not maintaining brief relationships with people at parties/holidays etc., with whom I experienced really deep understanding. That’s a rare occasion and I think I missed it.
I regret being not organized and missing out opportunities, being an Internet addict and so on.

Who do you admire, and why?
I admire creative and innovative artists, who transform the world and worldview and themselves – for example, David Bowie – that’s the way I want to live
I admire people who are assertive and get things done – because I’m certnainly not
I admire people, who are calm and stoic – again, because I’m not
I admire people, who are intelligent – because I LIKE intelligent people. Of any sort.

What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
I’ve lately got some problems with organizing the plan of my studies and my studies overall – also I am worried that I won’t keep up with the responsibilities during the school year, will lack free time and freedom and will be very tired.

What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I like to believe in some cosmic, “God” power, and I think I am spiritual, philosophically religious, I like the feeling of fullness, of being guided, of being connected with the universe. Intellectually, I’m an agnostic; being ateist or being religious is being too sure of truth of someone’s beliefs.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I feel I’m strongly a feminist (unconsciously from a very young age) and a liberal. Economically, some views are leftist, and some are rightist, I think I know too little about economy to be sure and dwelve into it. I think some new economic system is to be invented: I think it is possible I needed. I really like Marx’s communism, but I know that it’s really utopian.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
I’m planning to set up my own theraphy one-person business, if it counts. Anything more complicated would be a burden and I don’t suit that role.

What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
Quiet and solitary. Orderly. With some contact with people, but not too much. I look for intellectual growth and friendly atmosphere, innovation and variety.

What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
There were many of them… I am relatively easy to get interested. I like subjects which are taught by inspiring and passionate teachers, with lots of knowledge and facts, individual growth and intellectual stimulation. I didn’t like slow lessons which I got too quickly, too scheduled and stiff. The greatest difficulty I had last year was with chemistry, but it I think it was fault of my teacher. I think geography is boring. I hate memorizing facts. I hate informatics (not programming; boring stuff like excel with lots of details and no knowledge). I really hated DIY lessons.

How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
When I’m in charge – I put my whole heart in it. I get emotional and perfectionist about that. I always try to do what I’ve promised to do, no matter what. I think it’s very important to keep promises. I expect from others the same.

Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I went to Spain, and made some nature walks and excursions. I like exploring. And nature. And walks.

What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
As a child, I was sweet and innocent, really cheerful, optimistic, fun to be with, imaginative, believing in strange things, making my own theories without any connections to the outside world, very fragile, sensitive and internally good. I was at that time quite arrogant and opinionated. Now I am darker – more cynic, more moody. The arrogant side took over. But, the sweet child is still there – but you have to dig to it very deep. I think that’s what I really am – but the experiences made me bitter.


What was your high school experience like?
Rather positive – I encountered more social problems in former schools. There, I found real friends with same interests and mental landscapes, learned to be social. I had a few really close friends, engaged in groups. I was the opposite of popular person, but rather liked and cherished. I did OK in school in terms of marks, but it was definitely with no effort and greatly below expectations. Lots of exploring – personality and hobbies. Many extracurricular activities. Didn’t learn or work much – at all. Very ambitious plans not realized.


Talk about a significant event from your life.
Being at hospital. It was transcendental – I got a bit stoic about lots of things, decided about my future, calmed down, rested… it was a turning point in my life. Lots of time to think about life; no rush.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I love kids – but I don’t think they are any better than adults… they are actually more cruel and brutal, because they hasn’t been educated not to. But I enjoy their ability to have fun, freedom of imagination, sincerity.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Make them safe! It’s surprising that children are told not to do many things and they actually don’t do it, isn’t it a forbidden fruit? I want them to be mature and wise, creative and curious and I don’t want school to spoil it (that’s what happened to me). They ought to be nice and good at heart, but it’s probably easier to do. I will spend a lot of time to raise them up and educate them – I need plenty of time to do that. I will talk with them a lot, discuss important issues, take them to museums, etc….

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I feel stuck in a rut when I don’t have a clear direction or goal or feel worthless, like I don’t have much to give to the world. Or I’m overwhelmed with things to do, when there are too much of them and I don’t know where to start. I get veeeery unproductive and depressive. Strange thoughts come to mind, it feels like some Raskolnikov state of mind. When I have many responsibilities due to be done soon, I get out of this lethargic state.


How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
Chaotic, living wholeness. Wholeness needing some help and direction. Social problem? Financial inequality. Lack of purpose in life. Negative feeling. Loosing connections with other people.

What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I cry? Or cry and try to make an alternative resolution. Solve a problem. Get that thing with some other path taken.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
I like coordinating tasks. “You- do this, and you – do that”. I like perfecting details in projects. I like telling people exactly what to do next. I’m quite domineering and uncompromising. I love having control – everything that I engage at have to have a quality label on it, I’m a perfectionist. I fail at micromanaging, public relations, documents and formal side of things.

How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
Irresponsibility makes me irritated, and then – angry. Making chaos – makes me angry. Being insensitive – makes me angry. I hate stupidity. When I am angry, I feel a great wave of anger inside me, which I try to control, but it sometimes goes out in a form of irony or hateful remarks. I get angry/irritated quickly and easily and frequently.


What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
informal graduates’ meeting
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
a quarrel with a friend.

What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
Despite my frequent existential crisis, I try to believe that our purpose is to embrace our abilities and utilize them to make the society run smoothly and/or survive (hence the dream of psychiatry; being psychiatrist, I wouldn’t feel useless and improve people’s lives and existential crisis wouldn’t bother me in the spiral of obligations and plans). For more poetical form of this check: Karl Marx.

What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
“the most interesting, the best, the worst” – I’ve got a problem with these. I’ve been to Figueres lately. Quite a dreamy, psychodelic experience. I love art; not a big fan of Dali tho. I loved the museum, I can’t stand his painting technique and aesthetic. But I liked his diaries – I sense that his theatratical nonsense is very logical and lineary in a way, I like his sense of humour.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
My style depends on my mood. That is: somehow I feel beautiful, then I put on my best clothes, flirt and laugh. I accent favourite features of my body. There are times, when I feel just… comfortable in my body. Then I put on random, basic clothes. Sometimes I rather dress up than just dress – my fantasy makes me wear some strange backpack in the shape of an animal, or I wear way too high, colourful socks, or make an obvious mismatch, putting together shirt in dots and checked trousers. I love experimenting and making fun of my appearance, some fancy accessories come in handy like ties. But mostly, basic clothes.
Do you like surprises?
Difficult one. I like surprises which I somehow expect. Or: I like to anticipate things. Or: if you want to make me a surprise – pleeeaase let me know or I’ll be stressed.

Is there anything else important about you that we should know?
1. English isn’t my native language, hence the “I this, I that, I, I, I” and probably many mistakes. 2. Throughout filling the questionnaire, I felt either like: “Oh, well, now, that’s not me… I will delete it! Or maybe not…” or “it’s too long, it isn’t supposed to be that long” 3. Love for cats; psychological fact 4. Sex: female. 5. I am varying between two types: one seems fine looking at functions order, the other one is more of a gut feeling basing on stereotypes, but I’ll probably get something incredibly different here.