This has been bothering me for a while, from the start I'd say the scales are tipped towards EII, as I have scored the same result repeatedly, but upon reading the description I have my doubts...a quiet angel? Really? That makes me want to go start some shit just to contradict it. Perhaps I'm not even one of the two types on the thread title? The one thing I am positive of is I am NOT an extrovert.
Among the things I value most are freedom (of action/speech/allegiance you name it) so in this regard the rational Fi function seems rather constricting/prescriptive (to me). I'm non-confrontational and am aware that sometimes it is actually best to listen to the instructions of those in a more authoritative/knowledgeable position, but inwardly I have a negative gut reaction to being directed, even if I can fool myself into believing I appreciate it, for the sake of long term harmony and achievement of my goals.
As far as emotions go, I keep them to myself and look pretty stoic (and have been called robotic by a few cunts - they were sensitive sweethearts so they were able to see and call what was robotic in someone else) but at the same time, if it fits the situation, I can be quite charming and engaging - when attracting someone I would read them like a book, figure out what they liked and become that, so the chace ensued, and it was up to me to mantain this interest - doesn't everybody try to emulate what others like during courtship?? I've done some stuff I feel guilty about, but hell, it was exciting and I bet they were no saints themselves lol, there's a reason I liked them.
Now about romantic/erotic behavior, this is something that confuses me as well: I have dated both ESTj and ESTp, and both were fun to be around, I started and ended the relationships for different reasons.
The ESTj: I loved his zeal/drive and entreprenurial nature, it was pretty energizing to listen to him; I also found him to be a very masculine/old fashioned gentleman, and that was attractive. Even as he described himself to be a pragmatic and logical person, I could also see he had very intense and deep emotions that he had a hard time controlling. I could tell he liked me very easily, and because I was very cautious, he thought I heavily disliked him, so I made up this simple but effective plan to let him know I liked him so he would come and contact me. Once we were together, the emotional rapport and sexual attraction was too damn high, it was actually scary how much I lost control when it came to him (I never showed it). Please note I have always had a fear of intimacy and the vulnerability that comes with it, so this might not even be type related.
He was usually strict and critical, but loosened up a lot when dealing with me; he was very protective and caring, which made me feel comfortable and happy. The deal breakers were that he eventually wanted to form a family: HELL NO, I will make money, never get married, never raise a family, and go get wasted in Vegas till my blood type is HIV positive. No kids, no pets, and no dependants for me.I also got this feeling I could not show him all of me, which he would either reject or not understand; like I am not the sweet angel of feminity bait I portrayed myself as, that was simply the best disguise to ensure survival. I am also not as helpless as I seemed, this was just to provoke his caretaker initiative. I could easily see into his mental dark alleys, unspoken as they were, but felt very uneasy in showing him mine. In general I am crazier than him, good fellow that he is. That said, his behavior was what you'd call exemplary while mine was highly reproachable, I ended things and returned more than once, and still think of him often. That is something else that scared me, I was never satisfied, I wanted more and more of him, damn, I was being consumed by my desire to consume him lol.
The ESTp's: One of them was a guy 15 years my senior, my most questionable and entertaining partner, I used to plan the dates and then he would fulfill them with some twists. He was also easy to read, a very suspicious/inquisitive/territorial guy, I would indirectly taunt him and gave him what he wanted at different moments. He would constantly be touchy feely and use playful/mild physically aggressive ways of calling my attention. Shit, I enjoyed HIS attention. I noticed my intentional obliviousness would only flare him up lol "Bitch do you feel me?!" He was a good guy though, I could tell he had his morals and no reall ill meaning. Since he was much more outspoken and confrontational, he would often end up saying the mean things I was thinking but did not dare say. I would keep quiet and make it so his interlocutor would be at ease, but in my head I was thinking "yeah! you tell that MF!" I will go to hell...if only it existed loool
I ended it because as enjoyable as the relationship was, I did not see it going anywhere, I had to focus on my studies and career, and as much as I liked him, he really needed to get his shit together and focus on his.
Onto the other ESTp, fun teasing constantly going back and forth, with occasional "opening up" moments where he would share more intimate details of his life with me, also a very possessive guy, but not nearly as overtly confrontational as the previous one, instead, more of a charming salesman, with a roguish demeanor. I could tell he was not overtly aggressive, but potentially antisocial/violent, with a predatorial mindset, so he needed a purpose, something to win, to direct his energy towards in a non-destructive way; at the same time, I tried to create moments where he could simply be a bad motherfucker with no regard to propriety simply because I thought it would do him well to come to terms with a part of his personality he expressed remorse about. He was often scattered and lost in his longterm goals, not to mention he was quite jealous and insecure - he had his outbursts; I found it easy to soothe him and "avoid any bullets" but I also found it unnecessary to adjust to his neediness and tantrums. So I sent him a Youtube remix of Sweet Brown's "ain't nobody got time fo dat" and called it quits. I was hated and loved in the same text afterwards, then drunk texted a few times again.
What else can I say about my own traits...I am deceptively submissive but secretly rebellious, good at academics, good at reading people, slow at and fairly inept at handling mechanically oriented tasks, unpredictable in relationships, good at analyzing theoretical data, sensitive (yes...), very much a loner, oblivious to my surroundings, exploratory, artistic, and even though I work hard to achieve the goals/comforts I want; I'm quite lazy and a procrastinator. I also love projecting myself into fictional characters of my own creation.
When it comes to other types, ENFp seem to constantly gravitate towards me, even though I find them... repelling. (I am not hating, I respect them and realize they have good intentions, plus this is only a personal opinion) I find them overly dramatic, intrusive, childish, and reactive/obnoxious - much more so women than men. I also really dislike most ISTp I know, yes, they are good people as well, but I personally find them restrictive and anal. I have a bunch of flaws myself, which I think both previous types would find annoying - yet the ENFp's keep showing up...
This is a LONG ASS post, if I was someone else I simply would not read it, but well...I lose nothing from posting it. If you stuck around for some reason, thank you.
Among the things I value most are freedom (of action/speech/allegiance you name it) so in this regard the rational Fi function seems rather constricting/prescriptive (to me). I'm non-confrontational and am aware that sometimes it is actually best to listen to the instructions of those in a more authoritative/knowledgeable position, but inwardly I have a negative gut reaction to being directed, even if I can fool myself into believing I appreciate it, for the sake of long term harmony and achievement of my goals.
As far as emotions go, I keep them to myself and look pretty stoic (and have been called robotic by a few cunts - they were sensitive sweethearts so they were able to see and call what was robotic in someone else) but at the same time, if it fits the situation, I can be quite charming and engaging - when attracting someone I would read them like a book, figure out what they liked and become that, so the chace ensued, and it was up to me to mantain this interest - doesn't everybody try to emulate what others like during courtship?? I've done some stuff I feel guilty about, but hell, it was exciting and I bet they were no saints themselves lol, there's a reason I liked them.
Now about romantic/erotic behavior, this is something that confuses me as well: I have dated both ESTj and ESTp, and both were fun to be around, I started and ended the relationships for different reasons.
The ESTj: I loved his zeal/drive and entreprenurial nature, it was pretty energizing to listen to him; I also found him to be a very masculine/old fashioned gentleman, and that was attractive. Even as he described himself to be a pragmatic and logical person, I could also see he had very intense and deep emotions that he had a hard time controlling. I could tell he liked me very easily, and because I was very cautious, he thought I heavily disliked him, so I made up this simple but effective plan to let him know I liked him so he would come and contact me. Once we were together, the emotional rapport and sexual attraction was too damn high, it was actually scary how much I lost control when it came to him (I never showed it). Please note I have always had a fear of intimacy and the vulnerability that comes with it, so this might not even be type related.
He was usually strict and critical, but loosened up a lot when dealing with me; he was very protective and caring, which made me feel comfortable and happy. The deal breakers were that he eventually wanted to form a family: HELL NO, I will make money, never get married, never raise a family, and go get wasted in Vegas till my blood type is HIV positive. No kids, no pets, and no dependants for me.I also got this feeling I could not show him all of me, which he would either reject or not understand; like I am not the sweet angel of feminity bait I portrayed myself as, that was simply the best disguise to ensure survival. I am also not as helpless as I seemed, this was just to provoke his caretaker initiative. I could easily see into his mental dark alleys, unspoken as they were, but felt very uneasy in showing him mine. In general I am crazier than him, good fellow that he is. That said, his behavior was what you'd call exemplary while mine was highly reproachable, I ended things and returned more than once, and still think of him often. That is something else that scared me, I was never satisfied, I wanted more and more of him, damn, I was being consumed by my desire to consume him lol.
The ESTp's: One of them was a guy 15 years my senior, my most questionable and entertaining partner, I used to plan the dates and then he would fulfill them with some twists. He was also easy to read, a very suspicious/inquisitive/territorial guy, I would indirectly taunt him and gave him what he wanted at different moments. He would constantly be touchy feely and use playful/mild physically aggressive ways of calling my attention. Shit, I enjoyed HIS attention. I noticed my intentional obliviousness would only flare him up lol "Bitch do you feel me?!" He was a good guy though, I could tell he had his morals and no reall ill meaning. Since he was much more outspoken and confrontational, he would often end up saying the mean things I was thinking but did not dare say. I would keep quiet and make it so his interlocutor would be at ease, but in my head I was thinking "yeah! you tell that MF!" I will go to hell...if only it existed loool
I ended it because as enjoyable as the relationship was, I did not see it going anywhere, I had to focus on my studies and career, and as much as I liked him, he really needed to get his shit together and focus on his.
Onto the other ESTp, fun teasing constantly going back and forth, with occasional "opening up" moments where he would share more intimate details of his life with me, also a very possessive guy, but not nearly as overtly confrontational as the previous one, instead, more of a charming salesman, with a roguish demeanor. I could tell he was not overtly aggressive, but potentially antisocial/violent, with a predatorial mindset, so he needed a purpose, something to win, to direct his energy towards in a non-destructive way; at the same time, I tried to create moments where he could simply be a bad motherfucker with no regard to propriety simply because I thought it would do him well to come to terms with a part of his personality he expressed remorse about. He was often scattered and lost in his longterm goals, not to mention he was quite jealous and insecure - he had his outbursts; I found it easy to soothe him and "avoid any bullets" but I also found it unnecessary to adjust to his neediness and tantrums. So I sent him a Youtube remix of Sweet Brown's "ain't nobody got time fo dat" and called it quits. I was hated and loved in the same text afterwards, then drunk texted a few times again.
What else can I say about my own traits...I am deceptively submissive but secretly rebellious, good at academics, good at reading people, slow at and fairly inept at handling mechanically oriented tasks, unpredictable in relationships, good at analyzing theoretical data, sensitive (yes...), very much a loner, oblivious to my surroundings, exploratory, artistic, and even though I work hard to achieve the goals/comforts I want; I'm quite lazy and a procrastinator. I also love projecting myself into fictional characters of my own creation.
When it comes to other types, ENFp seem to constantly gravitate towards me, even though I find them... repelling. (I am not hating, I respect them and realize they have good intentions, plus this is only a personal opinion) I find them overly dramatic, intrusive, childish, and reactive/obnoxious - much more so women than men. I also really dislike most ISTp I know, yes, they are good people as well, but I personally find them restrictive and anal. I have a bunch of flaws myself, which I think both previous types would find annoying - yet the ENFp's keep showing up...
This is a LONG ASS post, if I was someone else I simply would not read it, but well...I lose nothing from posting it. If you stuck around for some reason, thank you.