Dilemma for me, since I don't know if it's of any interest to others, that is. But putting this here obviously opens me up to others' contribution, which is very welcome! Come one, come all and try to help me decide on my type.
As a disclaimer before delve into more personal stuff: I am fully aware of how typing on this forum works, however, since I already have a starting point and a pretty good idea of what my type might be, I figured that I should skip myself the trouble of completing that humongous typing form. VI is also something that I don't take lightly to as I dislike showing myself online, especially to other people.
Now that we clarified that (and a few people already closed the tab by now or clicked "back"), we can begin! : )
My journey into the realm of typology started over one year ago, when we were spoken about the MBTI system during an English course. Intrigued, I took it online and was presented with the following result: INFP which I was okay with. Quickly, I grew borderline obsessed and realised how fitting INFP was for me as a type, except for some parts (Speciffically the "am an angel, I wouldn't hurt a fly uwuwuwuwu sweet thoughts for everyone!!!" part about it, even more so with the "Trying not to offend anyone" part). Cue curtain, cue socionics. During my travels on Discord's online landscapes I came across a server who was Socionics focused. At that time, I didn't even know what it was, and it seemed way too complex to me. That's when my journey truly began, though.
After completing a long-ass questionnaire, the people on there agreed on me being an EII. I was okay with it, but not for long. It felt as if something was off. During my lecturing on the works of Filatova, Gulenko, and the likes, I couldn't for some reason fully connect nor fit within the description of an EII. So I did what a person plagued by identity crisis would do: Took a completely different questionnaire, on a completely different place. So it happens that 4 months after taking the first, my functions seem to have been miraculously flipped upside down. Fi/Te became Fe/Ti, my Ne was gone, replaced by Ni, and the Se polr crawled its way to the top, screaming and kicking the Si in the face. I took online tests (I know, not the most reliable source, but a desperate man must provide for himself) in order to find a new lifeline, and it was the following: According to people who've had their say so far, I'm an EIE or IEI.
Now now, being extroverted (altough knowing that it doesn't hold too much context in the realm of socionics) has become a taboo for me with every passing year. As a kid, I was a dreamy, peculiar individual. I would constantly live in another world, yet I was not completely cut off from reality. Instead, I shaped reality to be exactly how I was envisioning it to be, or at least tried to. I was getting involved in my dreams and visions of life, not just staying passive by them: I would play pretend all day long, I would talk to myself and imaginary friends up until the age of 12 or 14, I would get other kids that i didn't even know into playing along. They were pirates in search of hidden treasures and I was their magical parrot or captain. We would "sneak" into the classroom and steal pencils, pretending it was a heist like in those cheesy movies. All the world was a stage! Despite all of this, I always found it difficult to interact or introduce myself around people, I just didn't know how to react or form bonds with anyone. All the kids that I've been involving, it seemed like they were always there and I grew comfortable with them. The more I grew up, the more twisted and in-depth these visions and insights became, and by the 7th grade I was already a raging introvert, as the cool kids would call it. Not only that, but I starte to realise how shallow everyone around me was, and quickly grew to hate myself, and my environment, for it. So I found a new outlet: Reading, writing, and music, although only actively participating in writing myself, the other two have been something that I deeply connected with on very personal levels even up to this day. Video games were also a huge thing for me, but lately I've been losing apetite for them.
As for the personal-personal stuff and romantic life, I'm pretty bitter about it. I've never had a fulfilling one, or at least that's how I feel. I felt victimised during each and every one of them, and at the end of it I always found myself questioning my choice of getting engaged in the first place, since i can clearly see how toxic they were, especially my last one. There are no words to describe how disgusting it is, or there might be, but I can't think of them at the moment.
That's also all that I can think of at the moment, so please bear with me. I'll come back to this thread later, or at the request of other people commenting on here, in order to elaborate and clarify on some things. I'm not sure how telling this is, but have fun and do whatever you ought to do with it!
As a disclaimer before delve into more personal stuff: I am fully aware of how typing on this forum works, however, since I already have a starting point and a pretty good idea of what my type might be, I figured that I should skip myself the trouble of completing that humongous typing form. VI is also something that I don't take lightly to as I dislike showing myself online, especially to other people.
Now that we clarified that (and a few people already closed the tab by now or clicked "back"), we can begin! : )
My journey into the realm of typology started over one year ago, when we were spoken about the MBTI system during an English course. Intrigued, I took it online and was presented with the following result: INFP which I was okay with. Quickly, I grew borderline obsessed and realised how fitting INFP was for me as a type, except for some parts (Speciffically the "am an angel, I wouldn't hurt a fly uwuwuwuwu sweet thoughts for everyone!!!" part about it, even more so with the "Trying not to offend anyone" part). Cue curtain, cue socionics. During my travels on Discord's online landscapes I came across a server who was Socionics focused. At that time, I didn't even know what it was, and it seemed way too complex to me. That's when my journey truly began, though.
After completing a long-ass questionnaire, the people on there agreed on me being an EII. I was okay with it, but not for long. It felt as if something was off. During my lecturing on the works of Filatova, Gulenko, and the likes, I couldn't for some reason fully connect nor fit within the description of an EII. So I did what a person plagued by identity crisis would do: Took a completely different questionnaire, on a completely different place. So it happens that 4 months after taking the first, my functions seem to have been miraculously flipped upside down. Fi/Te became Fe/Ti, my Ne was gone, replaced by Ni, and the Se polr crawled its way to the top, screaming and kicking the Si in the face. I took online tests (I know, not the most reliable source, but a desperate man must provide for himself) in order to find a new lifeline, and it was the following: According to people who've had their say so far, I'm an EIE or IEI.
Now now, being extroverted (altough knowing that it doesn't hold too much context in the realm of socionics) has become a taboo for me with every passing year. As a kid, I was a dreamy, peculiar individual. I would constantly live in another world, yet I was not completely cut off from reality. Instead, I shaped reality to be exactly how I was envisioning it to be, or at least tried to. I was getting involved in my dreams and visions of life, not just staying passive by them: I would play pretend all day long, I would talk to myself and imaginary friends up until the age of 12 or 14, I would get other kids that i didn't even know into playing along. They were pirates in search of hidden treasures and I was their magical parrot or captain. We would "sneak" into the classroom and steal pencils, pretending it was a heist like in those cheesy movies. All the world was a stage! Despite all of this, I always found it difficult to interact or introduce myself around people, I just didn't know how to react or form bonds with anyone. All the kids that I've been involving, it seemed like they were always there and I grew comfortable with them. The more I grew up, the more twisted and in-depth these visions and insights became, and by the 7th grade I was already a raging introvert, as the cool kids would call it. Not only that, but I starte to realise how shallow everyone around me was, and quickly grew to hate myself, and my environment, for it. So I found a new outlet: Reading, writing, and music, although only actively participating in writing myself, the other two have been something that I deeply connected with on very personal levels even up to this day. Video games were also a huge thing for me, but lately I've been losing apetite for them.
As for the personal-personal stuff and romantic life, I'm pretty bitter about it. I've never had a fulfilling one, or at least that's how I feel. I felt victimised during each and every one of them, and at the end of it I always found myself questioning my choice of getting engaged in the first place, since i can clearly see how toxic they were, especially my last one. There are no words to describe how disgusting it is, or there might be, but I can't think of them at the moment.
That's also all that I can think of at the moment, so please bear with me. I'll come back to this thread later, or at the request of other people commenting on here, in order to elaborate and clarify on some things. I'm not sure how telling this is, but have fun and do whatever you ought to do with it!