Here are some things about me and my life that hopefully offer some clues so you guys can help me out. These are the main personality shifts I've had in my life. Also, I'm 22 and male.
*sorry if this is long, thank you very much if you take the time to read.
1. As a kid I was very imaginative. I played with toys a lot and imagined myself in stories to act through. I did this with friends but also by myself. I wasn't shy about my imagination until I was a little bit older. I was maybe even slightly detached from reality. One time a kid pretended to start punching my imaginary friend and I flipped out because it felt real to me. I also would listen to music a lot and imagine myself playing in the band. I still do this as an adult. I fantasize scenarios a lot. I also did very well in school until I stopped caring when I was around 12. After that I did okay but I never tried because it was boring to me.
2. When I reached about 11-12 years old I began to develop a strong desire to master some kind of skill. I started with soccer and I would practice all the time. Eventually, since I didn't think I was going to be the best at soccer, I tried skateboarding. I became very practiced at both skills but since I wasn't the best I needed to find something I had a real knack for. I picked up the guitar at around age 13-14 and that became my main passion. Something about a skill being impressive or "cool" motivated me back then. I was modest in conversation but deep down I needed to be the best. I used others as a benchmark to track my progress and I made it through everyone I knew.
3. After high school I went to school for music to study jazz guitar because I knew learning jazz would give me a complete understanding of how music works. However, I ended up switching courses to a philosophy program for a year and then switching back again. This is around when I discovered personality types and I found it extremely stimulating to read and think about. I was becoming more interested abstract theory and logical reasoning compared to in my teen years. I ended up switching back to my music program last year and then dropping out again. Now I'm just teaching guitar and trying to get my life in order.
*Just to note, the reason i felt so comfortable with not finishing school was because I was there to learn, not to get a degree. I didn't feel like I was learning anything that I was interested in and it's pretty overwhelming for me to take in a lot of information that I don't care about. Also, always having to meet new people after switching programs so many times was really hard for me.
4. I'm 22 now and I think I'm in another personality shift at the moment. For a long time I've wanted to learn to control my impulsive behaviors more but I still struggle with that. I've been thinking a lot about how to structure my life and days in a more simple and planned way. I've also been thinking a lot about my ideas and plans pertaining to teaching music. I'm also learning to be less serious about my skills because I've seriously worn myself out with that mindset. At this point I just want to simplify my life so I can aim at something. I'm even becoming more drawn to simplistic but beautiful music. I used to like the complex and impressive.
Anyway, hopefully someone here will be able to solve the puzzle. It's pretty hard to objectively analyze yourself and nobody I know is interested in this stuff. So thank you if you take the time to read this.
*sorry if this is long, thank you very much if you take the time to read.
1. As a kid I was very imaginative. I played with toys a lot and imagined myself in stories to act through. I did this with friends but also by myself. I wasn't shy about my imagination until I was a little bit older. I was maybe even slightly detached from reality. One time a kid pretended to start punching my imaginary friend and I flipped out because it felt real to me. I also would listen to music a lot and imagine myself playing in the band. I still do this as an adult. I fantasize scenarios a lot. I also did very well in school until I stopped caring when I was around 12. After that I did okay but I never tried because it was boring to me.
2. When I reached about 11-12 years old I began to develop a strong desire to master some kind of skill. I started with soccer and I would practice all the time. Eventually, since I didn't think I was going to be the best at soccer, I tried skateboarding. I became very practiced at both skills but since I wasn't the best I needed to find something I had a real knack for. I picked up the guitar at around age 13-14 and that became my main passion. Something about a skill being impressive or "cool" motivated me back then. I was modest in conversation but deep down I needed to be the best. I used others as a benchmark to track my progress and I made it through everyone I knew.
3. After high school I went to school for music to study jazz guitar because I knew learning jazz would give me a complete understanding of how music works. However, I ended up switching courses to a philosophy program for a year and then switching back again. This is around when I discovered personality types and I found it extremely stimulating to read and think about. I was becoming more interested abstract theory and logical reasoning compared to in my teen years. I ended up switching back to my music program last year and then dropping out again. Now I'm just teaching guitar and trying to get my life in order.
*Just to note, the reason i felt so comfortable with not finishing school was because I was there to learn, not to get a degree. I didn't feel like I was learning anything that I was interested in and it's pretty overwhelming for me to take in a lot of information that I don't care about. Also, always having to meet new people after switching programs so many times was really hard for me.
4. I'm 22 now and I think I'm in another personality shift at the moment. For a long time I've wanted to learn to control my impulsive behaviors more but I still struggle with that. I've been thinking a lot about how to structure my life and days in a more simple and planned way. I've also been thinking a lot about my ideas and plans pertaining to teaching music. I'm also learning to be less serious about my skills because I've seriously worn myself out with that mindset. At this point I just want to simplify my life so I can aim at something. I'm even becoming more drawn to simplistic but beautiful music. I used to like the complex and impressive.
Anyway, hopefully someone here will be able to solve the puzzle. It's pretty hard to objectively analyze yourself and nobody I know is interested in this stuff. So thank you if you take the time to read this.