Every now and then someone starts a thread questioning the validity of Socionics. Even long time advocate Rick DeLong has denounced Socionics as an invalid theory (my stand on his position: he never understood Socionics in the first place, to which he admits).
I will not go over my arguments why I believe Socionics is a valid theory (I have written about that here). Instead, I would like to share what Socionics has done for me.
In the past 12 years, there have been two important things Socionics has brought me.
The first thing is that it has helped my understanding of social relations, especially from a perspective of intertype relations. When I meet new people, I am usually capabale of typing them instantly, at least at the quadra level. This helps me speed up the process of socializing: with Deltas I know I can open up quite fast, whereas with Betas I know how to keep a proper distance. Only occasionally this doesn't work, e.g. because someone has severe personality issues. That can even happen with Deltas, although with Deltas it easier to take them aside to set firm boundaries and make them toe the line. But even in healthy social situations I now how to prevent common pitfalls: e.g. when interacting with LSEs I usually make an effort to slow down a little bit, trying to avoid the impression that I typically make with LSEs: that I can take on a heavier load, which wears me out in the long run. Or interacting with female IEEs, that give me the impression that they are sexually or romantically interested in me, where in reality they are only testing the limits and have no intentions of 'taking things further' (and yes, I'm guilty as charged in this respect myself as well).
The second, and perhaps most important benefit Socionics has brought me, is the awareness of what is really important to me: Introverted Sensing. It is a thing that I have neglected for most of my 51-year life. The intellectual understanding of what Si is and what effect it should have on my life, over the years gradually grew into a more intuitive understanding. I have taught myself behaviors to get myself in that Si state where I feel existentially relaxed. I have developed a set of behaviors and attitudes that make me feel I am floating through life. I set my own path, the path that makes me feel good, balanced and, if I may be so humble, a life which is more in line with the life God (whatever that may be) has intended for me. Whenever I loose track, I quickly become aware of it and modify my behaviors, often this sensation of blissful light emptiness returning in a couple of hours. The only downside to this is that it has taken me way off the beaten path and am more disconnected from other people than I ever believed possible. Most other people I meet every day are not bad people, but they are living socially programmed lives that are incompatible with mine. Even a nice talk is no longer possible, because we no longer share the same references.
Obviously Socionics wasn't the only factor in this. Understanding of mainstream insights into social and behavioral sciences has helped a lot, as did experience with life in general did.
I wish you all the arrival at that point where it all comes together. Keep investing in Socionics, keep testing it against your real life experiences. It is worth the effort in the long run (the very long run I might add, it took me twelve years ;) )
I will not go over my arguments why I believe Socionics is a valid theory (I have written about that here). Instead, I would like to share what Socionics has done for me.
In the past 12 years, there have been two important things Socionics has brought me.
The first thing is that it has helped my understanding of social relations, especially from a perspective of intertype relations. When I meet new people, I am usually capabale of typing them instantly, at least at the quadra level. This helps me speed up the process of socializing: with Deltas I know I can open up quite fast, whereas with Betas I know how to keep a proper distance. Only occasionally this doesn't work, e.g. because someone has severe personality issues. That can even happen with Deltas, although with Deltas it easier to take them aside to set firm boundaries and make them toe the line. But even in healthy social situations I now how to prevent common pitfalls: e.g. when interacting with LSEs I usually make an effort to slow down a little bit, trying to avoid the impression that I typically make with LSEs: that I can take on a heavier load, which wears me out in the long run. Or interacting with female IEEs, that give me the impression that they are sexually or romantically interested in me, where in reality they are only testing the limits and have no intentions of 'taking things further' (and yes, I'm guilty as charged in this respect myself as well).
The second, and perhaps most important benefit Socionics has brought me, is the awareness of what is really important to me: Introverted Sensing. It is a thing that I have neglected for most of my 51-year life. The intellectual understanding of what Si is and what effect it should have on my life, over the years gradually grew into a more intuitive understanding. I have taught myself behaviors to get myself in that Si state where I feel existentially relaxed. I have developed a set of behaviors and attitudes that make me feel I am floating through life. I set my own path, the path that makes me feel good, balanced and, if I may be so humble, a life which is more in line with the life God (whatever that may be) has intended for me. Whenever I loose track, I quickly become aware of it and modify my behaviors, often this sensation of blissful light emptiness returning in a couple of hours. The only downside to this is that it has taken me way off the beaten path and am more disconnected from other people than I ever believed possible. Most other people I meet every day are not bad people, but they are living socially programmed lives that are incompatible with mine. Even a nice talk is no longer possible, because we no longer share the same references.
Obviously Socionics wasn't the only factor in this. Understanding of mainstream insights into social and behavioral sciences has helped a lot, as did experience with life in general did.
I wish you all the arrival at that point where it all comes together. Keep investing in Socionics, keep testing it against your real life experiences. It is worth the effort in the long run (the very long run I might add, it took me twelve years ;) )