Introduction
Hey, I’m Kara. I’ve been very scared to register on the forum and to do this questionnaire. I hope it’s not because of the lack of introspection, but more because of that fact that while I’m really trying to find roots and somehwere I could belong – a static place that welcomes me anytime I leave - I don’t think personality as we see is necessarily something that exists. I know I was different 5 years ago, and maybe 5 minutes ago, and not just my taste, but maybe even the way I was thinking or making decisions. I was very afraid back then that if I won’t find a way to call or see myself in one way, I won’t really exist. Today I think the opposite – the fact that I know how much we change, and that I’m something that will always change like something fluid, minute to minute gives me freedom and hope, the freedom, because I feel nowdays I’m the very thing that has the perception of all the thoughts, feelings and changing forms of me, and hope, because I know I could change if I’d like to, anytime I would make a mistake, or would need to rethink the way I live.
So why am I here? I’m not really sure, but I know I want to be here, and see what you all think about my type. I guess one extreme just comes with another one.
hotelambush Questionnaire
Tell me about yourself
I’m currently a university student, studying psychology, philosophy and arts. I have a hard time introducing myself this way, I usually wait until I get to a topic, when I can just pour all the weird things on someone, or suddenly be very opened and honest about a serious topic. I also believe I'm socially ambiverted.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
When I had to decide what to study, I knew there were one or two things that was already a huge part of my life. It was psychology, philosophy and arts. I know about the last two, but psychology felt like I suddenly realized how much I analyzed everyone around me. And when not analyzing, I feel things about people, like hunches that tell me what they feel, or what's going on.
What are your values, and why?
Being open-minded. It helps me to deal with obstacles, lets me learn a lot, and even others could benefit from it. I think the other thing is not being the part of any politically correct fashion movement, and being able to talk about anything. I know this is more complicated on a society level, let me talk about from my personal view. If I can act as a proper human being, there is no need for the thought police. It’s how and why you say things – and if you can understand it, it helps to know yourself more.
Oh, and being more laid-back. I can get way too dramatic and serious, and I like to remind myself of that.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I watch many movies, series, I like to read, and play games (mostly more competitive team games, stuff with zombies and guns, or when I’m by myself, weird and artsy games that build more on the narrative and atmosphere).
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Depht, intelligence, open-mindedness, kindess and a good sense of humor. I like people who have faced something dark before, and got to know themselves and I can feel they thought about the world as well. I feel I can’t trust someone who didnt face some hard things and their own darkness, it almost feels like I can’t connect to anything.
One of my friends said it really well: „Your problem is that you are lookin for some kind of Holy Grail in everyone and everything, and if you can’t see it, you’ll get impatient and bored.”
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
Well, I have problems with connecting to most people. I can be very avoidant and close up if there is a group of people, and it’s mostly small talk. Not because I’m so deep and everything, but it mostly tires me, and I think I’ve never learnt how to do this properly. I feel I can do it, when I get my shit together, but something is missing. On the other I feel in more personal conversations, even with strangers, people tend to open up to me, and I can be patient.
How would your friends describe you?
Caring, intelligent, weird?
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I tend to overthink things, I live too much in my head, and I can be very lazy, so I end up staying in my room for a week (which I don’t necessarily enjoy, going out every 3 days is good for my crazy head). I can be way too much in the clouds. I procastinate a lot and when I am cranky, I am throwing shades, like a drag queen.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
It needs help every way. I have my resources though. I am good at having an intuition about myself and others (mostly in emotional ways, patterns, things they I/they don’t want to see), but I can get way too tangled in my thoughts, so I like to talk to friends from time to time.
I’m also not the best with money, I spend everything instantly that inspires me, and I’m not really interested in status or career, but more interested in learning and creating. This basically means I can be very useless.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I hate doing „have to” things. Cleaning, making money etc.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
Currently I have faint ideas, but I’d like to do something that helps me search for meaning. This can be teaching, studying literature and art etc.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
I would read books, travel, learn new ways to understand myself and others, and then maybe do projects that could help others do the same.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I like when someone is maybe loud or full of energy, and takes the initiative, maybe reckless. I like when someone is politically incorrect, say things out loud (not an idiot though).
I don’t like when someone is very quiet or preppy.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I put out pictures, candles or statues maybe. Daily chores kill me.
How do you behave around strangers?
Like they don’t exist (and usually just watch them, because I can get awkward), until one of them starts a conversation with me. Then usually I am nice and helpful. I hate when anyone touches me besides very intimate friends. I can get very angry in a crowd. Or excited if it’s a protest. Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone and tell them something that I know will make them happy and is actually true (like telling old women with green or pink hair that they look really cool).
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I try to use „I” sentences, and be honest. I am rarely angry nowdays or get into quarells. If it happens, I just tell what I think without considering if it is an asshole thing to say.
What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
That you should take religions so seriously you’d hurt someone else. Religions are ways to connet to the spiritual. I’d be happy if people would learn from more than one.
What did you do last Friday?
I was playing game with friends on Discord.
Part 2
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Living my life, and trying everyday to make it somewhere, inside myself or out there.
What is something you regret?
Not taking better care of my body.
Who do you admire, and why?
Maybe a friend of mine who is from a very bad neighborhood, but was able to change her surroundings, and now wants to learn about the world.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
Questions about my morality. I had an exisentital crisis before, nowdays I hink I start to get okay with what is.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I believe in God, but more in a pantheistic way I think. „God is looking at hirself through 7 billion mirrors”.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I like opening up to new ways in technology and how we do things, but I think I consider traditions and roots just as important. I’m not sure what I am. Read about politics, and sometimes think about solutions, or what the problems are, but I’m not invested in it more than this.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
I’d love to have a book shop where people could find proper books about occultism (not the watered down version), and there would be courses about different topics (tarot, astrology etc.) I think I’d be just the (or one) owner, who can invent the shop, the topics, which books would we order, who would teach, but I like democratic discussions.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
A place where I have my own freedom, and people listen to each other. There are open discussions, and a creative, chilled environment.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
Philosophy, literature and arts, because it helped me getting out from the mundane.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I try to respect what’s important to others, or be responsible about what could affect anyone in a bad way. This could be work related, emotional etc. I’m hoping others do the same around me.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
The place was nice, but issues happened inbetween family members. i was mostly swimming and eating.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
I’ve been talkative and sometimes agressive when I was defending my point, or pushy when I wanted others to understand something. Sometimes I wanted to be alone in a library or at home, reading or drawing. I’ve always felt different in a way, and I usually had one or two friends i was comfortable with. I’m not that agressive now, more laid back, have way less energy, and spend more time alone.
What was your high school experience like?
Most of my classmates were either way too happy and partying for me, and the other few were two goodie shoes, so I was spending most of my time with a few people who hated everyone, but we could have interesting talks. I liked that, but they (and me) were way too negative, and that made me very antisocial. I had access to other groups sometimes (the wild guys and the happy ones), but these were occasional and shallow connections. I was depressed, and ran into lame relationships where I could feel free and away from high school and home, talking, drinking and having sex.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
One night when I became best friends with someone I knew we would eventually become best friends with. Spent a night drinking and talking about God and so many things we could only „feel”, but don’t understand. I felt someone finally understood this weird, behind the scenes liquid world I was living in.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I like them a lot. I usually feel very natural around them, like we are friends. I respect them, and I like they can talk freely about anything, and that I can be silly around them.
Thank you for staying with me, and reading all of this,
Kara
Edit: ru.laser.ru function test results:
Ne:26
Fe: 24
Ni:20
Ti:16
Se:16
Fi:15
Si:14
Te:6
(wtf, halp)