My life is a constant struggle between two opposite poles. For days I live in my head, satisfied by my research of peacefulness and perfection. I become a vegan, I stop raging, stop feeling pain and feel nothing.
*But suddenly...*
BOOM. I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING, EAT 100000000 KG OF FOOD, DRIVE SOMEWHERE DISTANT, NEED LOVE, RAGE RAGE AND RAGE. I NEED TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS SO EVERYBODY'S GONNA AKNOWLEDGE MY SUPERIORITY.
*After a few days*
POOF. I become a mystical hermit again. I am conscious about the fact that all those mundane matters are irrelevant, and living in my head and doing absolutely nothing is the best way to reach inner peace.
Over and over again. It's never gonna end. How do you call this? Bipolarity? FFS, it's ridiculous. I don't even know who is the real me? Am I a ****ing animal or am I some kind of weird mystic? Lol. Does this happen to some of you too? How do you handle this stuff?
*But suddenly...*
BOOM. I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING, EAT 100000000 KG OF FOOD, DRIVE SOMEWHERE DISTANT, NEED LOVE, RAGE RAGE AND RAGE. I NEED TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS SO EVERYBODY'S GONNA AKNOWLEDGE MY SUPERIORITY.
*After a few days*
POOF. I become a mystical hermit again. I am conscious about the fact that all those mundane matters are irrelevant, and living in my head and doing absolutely nothing is the best way to reach inner peace.
Over and over again. It's never gonna end. How do you call this? Bipolarity? FFS, it's ridiculous. I don't even know who is the real me? Am I a ****ing animal or am I some kind of weird mystic? Lol. Does this happen to some of you too? How do you handle this stuff?