Hi all!
I'm quite new to Socionics, but have been reading about intertype relations for the past few months. After careful thought and deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that I am in a relationship of supervision. I'm an IEE and my boyfriend is an LII. We've been together about a year and a half (and have lived together for a year.) I'm 23 and he is 25. At first I thought he might be an IEI, and that Contrary/Extinguishment made more sense, but the further I study up on functions, the more I realize that is just not the case.
He is a wonderful human being, and I am very much in love with him. To me, he has a certain strength that I do not. He's much more of a concrete realist. Of course, over time I've noticed the trends of audit. Even before I got into Socionics (back in high school, we've known each other for 8 years), I always wondered why I looked up to him so much. But... as explained by this relation... I don't think he's ever given me the same degree of mutual admiration. He doesn't value my strong functions in the way I value his. He is very loving... and I have learned, over time, not to take his constructive criticism personally. I KNOW he means well, and that he is quite correct in trying to help me catch my blindspots. I just wish, at times, he would hold my opinions and advice to a higher degree. I know I am just as intelligent and capable as he is (He has agreed that he thinks I am very intelligent)... though I don't think he necessarily holds my brand of intelligence to as high a regard as I hold his. Besides that, I could not ask for a more loving and doting partner. He truly is my best friend. We get along wonderfully and have so much in common. All he wants to do is provide me with the best possible outcomes in life. I do not see him as a threat.
Now...I'm not here to debate the nature of my relationship. I'm here in the hopes of finding a possible solution or guideline when it comes to helping him understand my way of thinking a little bit better. Why is it that I can view his POV (which, though quite different and foreign from mine) as valuable, but he cannot (most times) see the same beauty in our differences? Neither way of thinking is "incorrect." Why must one way be labeled as so?
I'd like to ask those who have been in a similar situation the following:
1. Are you and your partner still together?
2. (If so) What is the best style of communication that works positively for you? Was it possible to teach your partner a more tolerant understanding?
3. (If not) How long did it last, and what was your breaking point?
Disclaimer: I'm not here for false hope. I know and have thoroughly researched the outcomes of such a pairing. I just wanted first hand experience. All opinions welcome!
I'm quite new to Socionics, but have been reading about intertype relations for the past few months. After careful thought and deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that I am in a relationship of supervision. I'm an IEE and my boyfriend is an LII. We've been together about a year and a half (and have lived together for a year.) I'm 23 and he is 25. At first I thought he might be an IEI, and that Contrary/Extinguishment made more sense, but the further I study up on functions, the more I realize that is just not the case.
He is a wonderful human being, and I am very much in love with him. To me, he has a certain strength that I do not. He's much more of a concrete realist. Of course, over time I've noticed the trends of audit. Even before I got into Socionics (back in high school, we've known each other for 8 years), I always wondered why I looked up to him so much. But... as explained by this relation... I don't think he's ever given me the same degree of mutual admiration. He doesn't value my strong functions in the way I value his. He is very loving... and I have learned, over time, not to take his constructive criticism personally. I KNOW he means well, and that he is quite correct in trying to help me catch my blindspots. I just wish, at times, he would hold my opinions and advice to a higher degree. I know I am just as intelligent and capable as he is (He has agreed that he thinks I am very intelligent)... though I don't think he necessarily holds my brand of intelligence to as high a regard as I hold his. Besides that, I could not ask for a more loving and doting partner. He truly is my best friend. We get along wonderfully and have so much in common. All he wants to do is provide me with the best possible outcomes in life. I do not see him as a threat.
Now...I'm not here to debate the nature of my relationship. I'm here in the hopes of finding a possible solution or guideline when it comes to helping him understand my way of thinking a little bit better. Why is it that I can view his POV (which, though quite different and foreign from mine) as valuable, but he cannot (most times) see the same beauty in our differences? Neither way of thinking is "incorrect." Why must one way be labeled as so?
I'd like to ask those who have been in a similar situation the following:
1. Are you and your partner still together?
2. (If so) What is the best style of communication that works positively for you? Was it possible to teach your partner a more tolerant understanding?
3. (If not) How long did it last, and what was your breaking point?
Disclaimer: I'm not here for false hope. I know and have thoroughly researched the outcomes of such a pairing. I just wanted first hand experience. All opinions welcome!