I am coming from the perspective of this NY times article, in particular this paragraph:
"But though we believe ourselves to be seeking happiness in marriage, it isnt that simple. What we really seek is familiarity which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. We are looking to recreate, within our adult relationships, the feelings we knew so well in childhood. The love most of us will have tasted early on was often confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parents warmth or scared of his anger, of not feeling secure enough to communicate our wishes. How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign. We marry the wrong people because we dont associate being loved with feeling happy."
Do you find this to be true in your life? What types are your parents? What are your relationships with them like? For the other people you know who are your parents' types, are your feelings toward them consistent with what is hypothesized by Socionics, or are they more consistent with how you feel toward your parents (or maybe these are the same)?
My mom and dad are SLI and LII, respectively, and I am very close with my mom, while I barely talk to my dad. I tend to end up dating (i.e., being attracted to) IxTx's of all sorts except ISTjs, but my connections with LIIs are usually ended by me (they liked me more than I liked them), while my connections with SLIs/ILIs are usually ended by them (I liked them more than they liked me). I think I feel more negatively toward LIIs than is theoretically hypothesized for look-alike/business relations, perhaps because of my dad. My love of Te leads/creatives is consistent with Socionics, but I've noticed that my EII friends do not love Te as much as I do (even preferring other functions, such as Ne or Fe, to it), so I wonder if I particularly love Te because of my mom.
"But though we believe ourselves to be seeking happiness in marriage, it isnt that simple. What we really seek is familiarity which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. We are looking to recreate, within our adult relationships, the feelings we knew so well in childhood. The love most of us will have tasted early on was often confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parents warmth or scared of his anger, of not feeling secure enough to communicate our wishes. How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign. We marry the wrong people because we dont associate being loved with feeling happy."
Do you find this to be true in your life? What types are your parents? What are your relationships with them like? For the other people you know who are your parents' types, are your feelings toward them consistent with what is hypothesized by Socionics, or are they more consistent with how you feel toward your parents (or maybe these are the same)?
My mom and dad are SLI and LII, respectively, and I am very close with my mom, while I barely talk to my dad. I tend to end up dating (i.e., being attracted to) IxTx's of all sorts except ISTjs, but my connections with LIIs are usually ended by me (they liked me more than I liked them), while my connections with SLIs/ILIs are usually ended by them (I liked them more than they liked me). I think I feel more negatively toward LIIs than is theoretically hypothesized for look-alike/business relations, perhaps because of my dad. My love of Te leads/creatives is consistent with Socionics, but I've noticed that my EII friends do not love Te as much as I do (even preferring other functions, such as Ne or Fe, to it), so I wonder if I particularly love Te because of my mom.