Do you think people need to be dualized in order to achieve fulfillment/self-actualization?
If not, then that would explain why some people just don't seem to be dual-seeking. But then what are the ways in which these people do become fulfilled/self-actualized? Do people seek dualization if and only if they are the type of person who needs dualization to be fulfilled? If not, see the below question.
If people do need to be dualized, what determines whether someone actually seeks it or not? Is there a way to trigger dual-seeking in someone who does not currently have an appetite for it?
I would like to provide some examples of what I mean, and to do so, I will focus on the case of EIIs since I am one and am also close friends with several :biggrin:.
I have loved and sought Te in my relationships (both platonic and romantic) since well before I got into Socionics and learned that this is what I am supposed to do according to my type. However, most of my EII friends do not seem to love Te as much as I do; in particular, the Te lovers among us are outnumbered by those who are charmed by Ne. This cannot be explained entirely by whether one grew up with a dual/activity parent, which I believe is a popular theory. It's true that I grew up with an SLI mom, so that would explain my predilection for dualization, but one of my EII friends grew up with an LSE mom and still prefers Ne. Additionally, even if one did not grow up with a dual parent and thus does not initially find duals appealing, shouldn't one start to like duals after spending enough time with them? Another of my EII friends has had regular access to at least two LSEs for years but still just does not find them appealing on a deeper level.
I don't want to conflate dual-seeking in all our relationships with Imago-seeking in our romantic relationships--theoretically, these could be separate issues. However, in practice, they seem to overlap completely--those who appreciate dual friendships are the same people with Imagos like their duals.
I also don't want to sound like I think that my preferences are more "correct," mature, or fulfilling. I think a vital part of my personal development (or any EII's personal development) is enjoying/exercising my Ne more, and I don't think my dual is as helpful in this as engaging with any other Ne ego type would be. It seems that while my dual enjoys Ne in me, he does not help me develop it, either through direct instruction or by example. Thus, my question is not "is dualization necessary and sufficient for fulfillment?" but "is dualization necessary for fulfillment?" Perhaps development of our creative IE is way more important, as proposed by @Cain in this post. Or perhaps both are necessary?
I think I got a bit off-topic (#Ne), but in summary, what determines whether someone needs or wants dualization? What is dualization for?
If not, then that would explain why some people just don't seem to be dual-seeking. But then what are the ways in which these people do become fulfilled/self-actualized? Do people seek dualization if and only if they are the type of person who needs dualization to be fulfilled? If not, see the below question.
If people do need to be dualized, what determines whether someone actually seeks it or not? Is there a way to trigger dual-seeking in someone who does not currently have an appetite for it?
I would like to provide some examples of what I mean, and to do so, I will focus on the case of EIIs since I am one and am also close friends with several :biggrin:.
I have loved and sought Te in my relationships (both platonic and romantic) since well before I got into Socionics and learned that this is what I am supposed to do according to my type. However, most of my EII friends do not seem to love Te as much as I do; in particular, the Te lovers among us are outnumbered by those who are charmed by Ne. This cannot be explained entirely by whether one grew up with a dual/activity parent, which I believe is a popular theory. It's true that I grew up with an SLI mom, so that would explain my predilection for dualization, but one of my EII friends grew up with an LSE mom and still prefers Ne. Additionally, even if one did not grow up with a dual parent and thus does not initially find duals appealing, shouldn't one start to like duals after spending enough time with them? Another of my EII friends has had regular access to at least two LSEs for years but still just does not find them appealing on a deeper level.
I don't want to conflate dual-seeking in all our relationships with Imago-seeking in our romantic relationships--theoretically, these could be separate issues. However, in practice, they seem to overlap completely--those who appreciate dual friendships are the same people with Imagos like their duals.
I also don't want to sound like I think that my preferences are more "correct," mature, or fulfilling. I think a vital part of my personal development (or any EII's personal development) is enjoying/exercising my Ne more, and I don't think my dual is as helpful in this as engaging with any other Ne ego type would be. It seems that while my dual enjoys Ne in me, he does not help me develop it, either through direct instruction or by example. Thus, my question is not "is dualization necessary and sufficient for fulfillment?" but "is dualization necessary for fulfillment?" Perhaps development of our creative IE is way more important, as proposed by @Cain in this post. Or perhaps both are necessary?
I think I got a bit off-topic (#Ne), but in summary, what determines whether someone needs or wants dualization? What is dualization for?