Finding yourself is apparently as easy as a walk in the park. Hah. No not really. But have you read the SLE Thinking thread? That post in that thread was EXACTLY the kind of thing I was hoping to read when I first joined the forum, and now I want to do something like that as well. EII Thinking. And maybe the others here will find it helpful too. And maybe join. I should disclaimer that I will not be able to make my own impressions of my own thinking nearly as clean and logical as Herzy did in that thread. Maybe I'm small minded but I figure it inevitable that an EII Thinking impressions would be very personally colored. So
EII Thinking
I took three Long Walks. One after work, one before work and one when I had nothing in particular going on. After work was disaster. Work had messed up my mentality so bad I was 4 layers deep within the rabbit hole that is myself before I managed to pull myself out. Informative disaster though. Still no hurry to redo it. Before work turned out just to mostly be a primer for the Walk I did in the state park. I'll start, though, with the first walk. The work disaster walk of depressive thought. Again and especially for this walk it won’t be written anything like the SLE Thinking one but after we get this Fi disaster out of the way we can get into some more detached thinking.
Anyway, I think from the Bad Walk I figured out why EIIs got such a reputation for... just completely shutting people out and generally being hardasses. EIIs... at least for me... have a lot of trouble letting go. Unless! Unless they label that person as a Baddie; then it's easy! And what do you do with Baddies? You shun them of course. Until they come crawling back asking for forgiveness (not many do). You don't see it yet but it's all too clear to me the perverse incentive system in place here. This gets super tl;dr how I figured things worked this way. So you can skip this if you just want the cliff notes.
Alright, that’s the shitty coping mechanism in the nuggin. Some people really are crap and they do deserve to be cut loose. But it’s too easy to get trigger happy doing that to anything that hurts. Too easy to label anything that looks like a character flaw into something bad or no good. Well. No one said living with this function was gonna be easy haha. But I can easily see ho someone can succumb a bit too much to this temptation to make the hurt feel less personal.
All said I stuck it out till the end of the Walk. It musta gotten pretty intense mentally in there because I noticed the few people around were giving me a berth. At this I also noticed my gaze locked staring at a sharp 30 degree angle. I’d returned to the physical realm.
Heh yeah that walk was almost entirely mental and almost no physical. Walking an area I was so familiar with I barely had to pay attention to get around. So I think for some results I needed to go someplace I wasn’t familiar with. Outdoorsy places. There aren’t really any trails anywhere close so instead I hit the biggest state park I could find. Wow I hadn’t done this in a while. There are those strange birds again at the ponds. And, uh, a couple school busses full of children. I thought I had driven far enough away to get away from all of them but okay this is fine.
I took 5 different routes through the park. My mental default state was definitely internal and not externally focused. So it would be more accurate to say when my internal focus would pop out occasionally rather than splitting it by percent cause it’s almost all mental. My first route through the park I noticed what drew my focus out was little bits of information I had learned about my surroundings. Like any bit of Te I could recognize out there (oh that’s pretty long a flowering grass maybe? Hey that’s a dicot plant. And so is that. And another dicot). My gaze scanned around the horizon while I was still getting used to the place. Noted the kind of people there and felt for a, hm, kinda bubble around them. Like the kinda psychological space they took up on the trails (lots of well-to-do older Asians here. Those two are sitting on a bench there give them a berth. Oh that trail goes awful close to that group of kids do I really need to go through that? Hmm). Also at this early stage of the walk I even perked up and noted where the sounds of birds and nature were coming from. But my attention would retreat back inside where I was mentally analyzing stuff.
By the 2nd and 3rd routes though the park my thought processes were being internally dominated. I was getting all Te’d out. Less and less to note out there (Dicot. Another dicot. Dicotdicotdicotdicot MONOCOT. Haha okay we’re done here.). The kinds of things I internally analyzed was how past conversations went. How I and they felt before and after. How future situations might work out. What kind of picture of a person was a getting from someone. Like why were they doing the thing they were doing. Example situation:
Like with my Dark Walk this one seemed drawn to finding what drives someone. Why they do what they do. What do they need to function? This is what I think of Fi as. Awareness of what attracts and rebels a person. Dig deep enough down the thought hole that seems to be how my thoughts were directed. By the end of the 3rd routing I had almost tuned out my surroundings. I’d figured out how to walk around without really paying attention. My gaze was transfixed to the ground ahead of me. I almost didn’t noticed someone had weedwacked some flowers ahead of me until I was almost on top of the flowers.
By the 4th and 5th routes though I was getting tired. Mentally and physically. I noticed myself here taking note of random things externally again as a way to perk myself up. Spinning off some funny little tangent from those observations occasionally. Spurts of Ne to start new lines of thought or jumpstart thoughts that got stuck in a rut.
My gaze was more sweeping than fixed when I was doing this. So in this walk to me most of the action happened on an internal set I had built up in my mind. Watching how things played out and may play out. This probably sounds pretty alien to an extravert sensor. The surroundings were all just in the background not really focused on. Fun though I definitely needed to be someplace new to identify some of this stuff.
:yup:
EII Thinking
I took three Long Walks. One after work, one before work and one when I had nothing in particular going on. After work was disaster. Work had messed up my mentality so bad I was 4 layers deep within the rabbit hole that is myself before I managed to pull myself out. Informative disaster though. Still no hurry to redo it. Before work turned out just to mostly be a primer for the Walk I did in the state park. I'll start, though, with the first walk. The work disaster walk of depressive thought. Again and especially for this walk it won’t be written anything like the SLE Thinking one but after we get this Fi disaster out of the way we can get into some more detached thinking.
Anyway, I think from the Bad Walk I figured out why EIIs got such a reputation for... just completely shutting people out and generally being hardasses. EIIs... at least for me... have a lot of trouble letting go. Unless! Unless they label that person as a Baddie; then it's easy! And what do you do with Baddies? You shun them of course. Until they come crawling back asking for forgiveness (not many do). You don't see it yet but it's all too clear to me the perverse incentive system in place here. This gets super tl;dr how I figured things worked this way. So you can skip this if you just want the cliff notes.
Alright, that’s the shitty coping mechanism in the nuggin. Some people really are crap and they do deserve to be cut loose. But it’s too easy to get trigger happy doing that to anything that hurts. Too easy to label anything that looks like a character flaw into something bad or no good. Well. No one said living with this function was gonna be easy haha. But I can easily see ho someone can succumb a bit too much to this temptation to make the hurt feel less personal.
All said I stuck it out till the end of the Walk. It musta gotten pretty intense mentally in there because I noticed the few people around were giving me a berth. At this I also noticed my gaze locked staring at a sharp 30 degree angle. I’d returned to the physical realm.
Heh yeah that walk was almost entirely mental and almost no physical. Walking an area I was so familiar with I barely had to pay attention to get around. So I think for some results I needed to go someplace I wasn’t familiar with. Outdoorsy places. There aren’t really any trails anywhere close so instead I hit the biggest state park I could find. Wow I hadn’t done this in a while. There are those strange birds again at the ponds. And, uh, a couple school busses full of children. I thought I had driven far enough away to get away from all of them but okay this is fine.
I took 5 different routes through the park. My mental default state was definitely internal and not externally focused. So it would be more accurate to say when my internal focus would pop out occasionally rather than splitting it by percent cause it’s almost all mental. My first route through the park I noticed what drew my focus out was little bits of information I had learned about my surroundings. Like any bit of Te I could recognize out there (oh that’s pretty long a flowering grass maybe? Hey that’s a dicot plant. And so is that. And another dicot). My gaze scanned around the horizon while I was still getting used to the place. Noted the kind of people there and felt for a, hm, kinda bubble around them. Like the kinda psychological space they took up on the trails (lots of well-to-do older Asians here. Those two are sitting on a bench there give them a berth. Oh that trail goes awful close to that group of kids do I really need to go through that? Hmm). Also at this early stage of the walk I even perked up and noted where the sounds of birds and nature were coming from. But my attention would retreat back inside where I was mentally analyzing stuff.
By the 2nd and 3rd routes though the park my thought processes were being internally dominated. I was getting all Te’d out. Less and less to note out there (Dicot. Another dicot. Dicotdicotdicotdicot MONOCOT. Haha okay we’re done here.). The kinds of things I internally analyzed was how past conversations went. How I and they felt before and after. How future situations might work out. What kind of picture of a person was a getting from someone. Like why were they doing the thing they were doing. Example situation:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoughts
By the 4th and 5th routes though I was getting tired. Mentally and physically. I noticed myself here taking note of random things externally again as a way to perk myself up. Spinning off some funny little tangent from those observations occasionally. Spurts of Ne to start new lines of thought or jumpstart thoughts that got stuck in a rut.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brain Thoughts
:yup: