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[Advice] sx/so- can you help me?

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I'm pretty sure of my sp-blind spot. I wrote a bit about myself, maybe you guys can help me because I'm wondering if this is just me and if I'm really an sx/so or not.

I’d like to say that I don't have amazing social skills because I have some social anxiety. I’m quiet, although I don't mind speaking to people most times, I just don't like approaching people. Some people catch my eye and seem very interesting but most times I would never just strike up a convo, unless I have an excuse and/or an opportunity comes up where I have to interact with them. I fluctuate between being concerned about how other people perceive me and then not giving a shit. Sometimes I do find myself changing my behavior and then looking back and then scolding myself for it. But I wouldn't say I change my behavior a lot or that I'm desperate to be liked. I'm not popular and never have been. On social media I see people pimping themselves out for likes etc and I just think why would you do that? Even when I do get a lot of attention from my posts on social media it doesn't really bring me the kind of gratification it does with some people. I mostly keep to myself anyway. I would not describe myself as an assertive person, although I can have my moments, but mostly no.

I’m currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius; I want to understand stoic philosophy more. I keep up to date with what’s happening in the outside world although I think most young people do since it seems to be the trend lol. It’s odd but I took a sociology class and got A's but I hated how theory based it was. I can’t stand too much theory. I would say I’m naturally more drawn to culture issues than political ones. In my early teens I would get super riled up by social injustices and was a bit of an sjw, although I have calmed down dramatically now. I’m quite wary of being so involved in social causes and group politics just because of how much it swallowed me up when I was younger. I still care but I’m not as one-sided as I used to be. This quote by Jeremy Paxman sort of explains how I feel about social causes/group politics “I don't believe there is a monopoly of wisdom in any one party. I suppose as one gets older – I would have described it at the age of 21 as the process of selling out, but another way of looking at it is to say, actually, the world is not a very simple place, and that as you get older simple-minded solutions seem less attractive.”

A self-preservation blind spot means being willing to sacrifice sp-needs in order to pursue the source of your passions e.g. putting food or sleep to the side. I personally can’t relate to the whole rock and roll stereotype sx/so types have. I understand the sx instinct as this need to immerse yourself in your passions etc. I can easily spend hours and hours reading about typology etc. I don’t remember a time when I haven’t obsessed over something. I just wish I could use this energy in a more useful way, like with my studies. I’ve been learning how to code and I know it’s a very important skill to have but I’m struggling to find the motivation to continue because I’m not obsessed with it. The sp-blind spot makes it hard to actually knuckle down even when I know it will benefit me. It’s literally like that with everything outside of my interests. I often leave assignments until the last minute, although surprisingly I’ve always managed to do well academically. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in crazy infatuation. The first time I saw my last crush the feelings hit me like a brick, suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I knew he wasn’t a great guy and that it was just my emotions clouding my mind, but I felt like I could’ve put up with his bad habits. I haven’t seen him in a year but I still think about him every once in a while. I honestly have no idea how I’d react if I saw him now. My feelings were so intense I almost felt like I hated him because of how strongly he’d impacted me.

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