Hi all! I'll try to keep this post as short and concise as possible, while still providing enough info to get some well-informed opinions. Thank you in advance!
A little background info on me - I'm a 27 year old female. I'm pretty confident I'm an IEI-Ni. I've waffled back and forth between that and EII. I'm much more well-rounded than I used to be, hence the confusion, but when I look back on my younger years, I'm pretty sure I'm not an EII. Although I now have firm principles that I refuse to compromise on and a deeper sense of emotional awareness as I age, that wasn't always the case. After getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship that lasted several years, I became firm in my convictions about what I wouldn't tolerate in a relationship. I also became more in touch with how **I** feel about things. Sometimes it would take me days or weeks before figuring out that something someone did to me hurt me. I was always keenly aware of other peoples' emotions and how they felt about me, but was very out of touch with my own. I've grown and developed so much that I considered I may be an EII, but I think I'm an IEI that has recognized and worked on her weaknesses. I'm open to any suggestions otherwise, though!
A few other details that lead me to this conclusion I've always struggled very much with the practical and mundane. I tend to be very unaware of my physical surroundings. It's not that I intentionally try to be messy I just don't pay attention to these things. I tend to live primarily inside my head. Cooking seemed like a magical and incomprehensible art until I learned in recent years how to take those practical steps. Although I'm a romantic at heart, I have this unquenchable thirst to understand everything. Even trying to make sense of my life through socionics has become a bit of an obsession that I think I need to simmer down from!
After being single for about 5 years after leaving that emotionally abusive relationship, I finally got into a committed relationship with someone new and I felt that I needed to end it after just a few months to preserve my sanity and integrity and self-respect. I'm just trying to get a grip on what happened and what I can learn from it.
I can't figure out whether he was an unhealthy SLE dual or an LSE conflictor. I know that sounds ridiculous, but read on he's 29. At first he came across like a great catch. A nice combination of fun, hard working, caring and devoted to the idea of a committed relationship. He was very persistent in his pursuit of me and wanted to lock me down right away. It didn't take long for the red flags to come out. He's an absolute adrenaline junkie. Has gotten in trouble with the law in the past but is a (mostly) conformed citizen now. He loves motorcycles and still runs from the cops rather than accepting a ticket. He presents himself as life of the party, very talkative, shmoozy, flirtatious, spontaneous, etc., but with a strong code of ethics (albeit his own personal and questionable at times code).
At the same dang time, he's anal retentive to the point of obsession. He's destroyed relationships over people not conforming to the way he demands things to be done. Would any SLE color code his closet?! He nitpicked everything I did and said. I'm too this, too that, used the wrong words, the wrong tone, the wrong timing, didn't like my purse, my perfume was too strong, I smacked my lips while eating (I don't), etc. One time, we were supposed to go out to a fancy dinner with friends and I came to his place to meet him beforehand. I was dressed to the nines and he refused to even acknowledge me until he was done working on his car. He accused me of wanting to distract him and take up his time. I didn't want to do either of those things. I just couldn't understand why he was so cold in his dismissal of me when I put so much effort into getting dressed up for him. To top it all off, he had a terrible temper that would come out if I expressed an opinion that differed from his. He wasn't interested in communicating with me and coming to mutual understanding. He simply wanted to beat me into submission.
Clearly, regardless of type, this guy is unhealthy and has a lot of self-work to do. I'm still curious though - is he an unhealthy SLE or LSE?
A little background info on me - I'm a 27 year old female. I'm pretty confident I'm an IEI-Ni. I've waffled back and forth between that and EII. I'm much more well-rounded than I used to be, hence the confusion, but when I look back on my younger years, I'm pretty sure I'm not an EII. Although I now have firm principles that I refuse to compromise on and a deeper sense of emotional awareness as I age, that wasn't always the case. After getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship that lasted several years, I became firm in my convictions about what I wouldn't tolerate in a relationship. I also became more in touch with how **I** feel about things. Sometimes it would take me days or weeks before figuring out that something someone did to me hurt me. I was always keenly aware of other peoples' emotions and how they felt about me, but was very out of touch with my own. I've grown and developed so much that I considered I may be an EII, but I think I'm an IEI that has recognized and worked on her weaknesses. I'm open to any suggestions otherwise, though!
A few other details that lead me to this conclusion I've always struggled very much with the practical and mundane. I tend to be very unaware of my physical surroundings. It's not that I intentionally try to be messy I just don't pay attention to these things. I tend to live primarily inside my head. Cooking seemed like a magical and incomprehensible art until I learned in recent years how to take those practical steps. Although I'm a romantic at heart, I have this unquenchable thirst to understand everything. Even trying to make sense of my life through socionics has become a bit of an obsession that I think I need to simmer down from!
After being single for about 5 years after leaving that emotionally abusive relationship, I finally got into a committed relationship with someone new and I felt that I needed to end it after just a few months to preserve my sanity and integrity and self-respect. I'm just trying to get a grip on what happened and what I can learn from it.
I can't figure out whether he was an unhealthy SLE dual or an LSE conflictor. I know that sounds ridiculous, but read on he's 29. At first he came across like a great catch. A nice combination of fun, hard working, caring and devoted to the idea of a committed relationship. He was very persistent in his pursuit of me and wanted to lock me down right away. It didn't take long for the red flags to come out. He's an absolute adrenaline junkie. Has gotten in trouble with the law in the past but is a (mostly) conformed citizen now. He loves motorcycles and still runs from the cops rather than accepting a ticket. He presents himself as life of the party, very talkative, shmoozy, flirtatious, spontaneous, etc., but with a strong code of ethics (albeit his own personal and questionable at times code).
At the same dang time, he's anal retentive to the point of obsession. He's destroyed relationships over people not conforming to the way he demands things to be done. Would any SLE color code his closet?! He nitpicked everything I did and said. I'm too this, too that, used the wrong words, the wrong tone, the wrong timing, didn't like my purse, my perfume was too strong, I smacked my lips while eating (I don't), etc. One time, we were supposed to go out to a fancy dinner with friends and I came to his place to meet him beforehand. I was dressed to the nines and he refused to even acknowledge me until he was done working on his car. He accused me of wanting to distract him and take up his time. I didn't want to do either of those things. I just couldn't understand why he was so cold in his dismissal of me when I put so much effort into getting dressed up for him. To top it all off, he had a terrible temper that would come out if I expressed an opinion that differed from his. He wasn't interested in communicating with me and coming to mutual understanding. He simply wanted to beat me into submission.
Clearly, regardless of type, this guy is unhealthy and has a lot of self-work to do. I'm still curious though - is he an unhealthy SLE or LSE?