Member Questionnaire (hag)

beauty is subjective, one’s preference for human aesthetic beauty depends on milieu. i don't place value on other people's opinions of beauty—beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and some people simply have bad taste. love is an action and a sensation. love, and the hope of it, is meaning. without the presence of love, living would seem purposeless and futile from my perspective. i place tremendous value on love.

respect towards everyone, kindness over intellectual superiority, forming my own opinions based on my personal experience & investigation, 'ne plus ultra' in everything.

i do not subscribe to any faith, however, i admire religious devotion. i enjoy learning about the history, culture, art, and tradition surrounding religion—spirituality can be a very powerful creative inspiration. though i might agree with the values of some spiritual teachings, i would not claim to be religious or spiritual, and i can't envision myself following an organized religion.

realistically speaking, wealth is power. however, i believe skill, charisma, and social influence to be important components in power as well.

i've had long conversations about politics, religion, empathy, emotion, film, social justice, health, beauty, et cetera. i like to debate but only with those i trust, who i know to be open-minded.

my favorite thing to do in my free time is read and analyze media or literature, i really love a book where the characters are truly complex and multifaceted. other than that, i like to blog!

yes, though i hate it when other people give me unwanted advice or chiding to do with my health. i have a good skincare routine and i enjoy learning about new ways to improve my regimen. i’m focused on my health but exclusively in areas that improve my comfort, so i don't chug protein shakes or anything like that.

they’re a necessary evil…

films: the lovely bones, the seventh seal, moonrise kingdom, the pianist, the man who knew too much
books: we have always lived in the castle, the ocean at the end of the lane

i cry when i’m angry, or when someone is yelling at me. i feel overwhelmed with fear and shame during those times. i've had sudden, uncharacteristic emotional outbursts after stressful situations, even if i had felt fine when in the moment of it. it's like a volcano erupting—as if to say, "i just can't take anymore!" stress must be discharged, or it may manifest in extreme and caustic ways.

it makes me smile to think about moments in the past where i felt happy, spending time with family members, teaching kids, when i adopted my dog, for example. i find respite in those memories. it's easy for me to get bogged down thinking about injustice and indifference, but those special moments restore my hope. they are a source of strength for me.

i feel most comfortable in familiar, clean surroundings, where i feel certain of my social acceptance. i rarely feel at ease in new places. it takes me some time to warm up to a new environment, but when i do, i have a strong, sometimes irrational sentimental attachment to it.

offended much too easily, over-sensitive and over-defensive. i’ve been afraid to assert myself, and if my opinions are challenged by opposing perspectives then i begin to wonder if i was wrong all along. i would rather ‘agree to disagree’ than face an argument; i avoid hostility at any cost. timid in unfamiliar environments. poor ability to take initiative.

strength under traumatic circumstances, good articulation & mediating ability, thoroughness, attention to detail, creative perspective, industrious worker when i can get motivated, high standards.

in the areas of productivity and assertiveness! i need to be inspired to do better for myself—not through words, but by actions.

i feel most 'stuck' when i don't have anything to do—excess free time is to blame. i need to be moving around, doing meaningful work, and staying busy to avoid the downward spiral of depression. when i'm truly in a rut, i feel purposeless and dissociated from life around me. everything seems to be pointless. it's impossible to engage myself with anything emotionally. me vs. everyone attitude.

i seek out those who are kind, forthright & well-articulated communicators, emotionally reserved yet also intense, and wise. i think that's ideal. in a varied social environment, i gravitate to anyone who demonstrates those qualities.

i don’t get along with loud, confrontational types. we mutually annoy each other; they see me as a ‘stick in the mud’, or just simply weird. i find their excessive enthusiasm and attitude to be repelling, their jokes and humor unfunny. our respective positive qualities seem to be reproachful from the other's perspective. like water and oil... i also don't get along much with sarcastic intellectual types. i find them to be just annoying, talking to them a waste of time.

i am a hopeless romantic, yet, i don't trust romance... i think it's very insincere. if i like a person, it comes naturally. flowers and corny dates aren't going to make me feel any more interested. probably the opposite! it all seems so contrived to me. so rather than forcing a checklist of 'romantic' activities, i'm happy to just spend time doing something we mutually enjoy. to me, that is truly romantic.

the qualities i want in a partner are the same qualities as i mentioned before—kind, et cetera. someone who is well in touch with their emotional side, stoicness is intriguing up to a point, the threshold being when it appears that they are emotionally void not just on the outside, but internally too. uncertainty and timidness are a turn-off. domineering chauvinist machismo is just as bad. i feel that ideally, partners should bring out the best in one another. if your significant other doesn't adore you, why are you even together?

i don't have any particular attitude towards sex. i don't believe it's an intrinsic 'need' on the level of hunger or sleep like some say. i think sexually-charged environments are uncomfortable, and i prefer not to discuss sex. i'm not repressed, just indifferent to it.

my concern is that i wouldn't have the patience for raising my (hypothetical) child. i like kids, yet i find them exhausting. i also believe children deserve full devotion from their parents in raising them. i'm not very good with kids, i don't know how to entertain them. if i had the means to, i'd hire nannies to compensate for this.

my outward reaction would be to ignore it. i don't like to argue and i don't proselytize. as goes my inward reaction... i'd feel alienated, uncomfortable. i'd make a mental note to not hang out with them again. if i feel they've made an offensive statement, i may try to reproach them, but i don't push it if they are militant.

i don't see people as a whole; everyone has their own unique, individual attributes, and they do not deserve to be lumped into such a sweeping generalization.
i consider lack of empathy to be a broad social issue. not empathy in the feeling-another's-feelings sense, but merely compassion for a fellow human being. it's easy to fall into a solipsistic worldview and forget the simple fact of another's humanity. we all inherently deserve to be treated with respect, unless our actions prove otherwise.

i don't 'choose' my friends, not really. i believe whoever is of similar temperament and interests will gravitate to one another organically, so i don't try to force friendships. if i am interested in someone i try to be more attentive, kind, and helpful towards them, and hope to become closer acquaintances that way. most of my friends happen to be iei, if that's relevant.
around those i know well, there tends to be more loose communication and joking around. i don't feel so obligated to be on my 'best behavior' all the time, and i can be more assertive. i can say 'no'.

i don't approach or engage with strangers unless they take the initiative to talk with me first... and i'm very shy! though i've been told i'm good at hiding this. around people i don't know well i can be very low-key, i don't feel free to be myself around strangers.