Member Questionnaire 1 (shanestarr006)
What is beauty? What is love? aesthetic beauty is that which is pleasing and fulfilling to the eye, much like food and water is refreshing to the body, sex to desire, and acheivement to one's goals. Love is the intention of the consciousness to its ultimate concerns that come in many 'flavors'; care for another person (romantic or family-related, like one's parents or children or siblings) and objects of one's desire, whether it be cars, jewelry, clothing, even people.
What are your most important values? aesthetic beauty is very high, perhaps the highest on my list. I take great care to match my clothes, have my working and home environment look attractive (and with matching color palettes), and keeping my car nice and polished and clean. Health is very high on list; it is true that a physically healthy stray dog is happier than an ailing king. I believe life itself is the ultimate gift, from 'God,' and our task (our gift back in appreciation) is to find our purpose and fulfill it AND ENJOY IT!! to the best of our abilities. I love being active and fit, I walk 20 miles a day, jump in an ice-cold pool every morning, and work out daily, and watch my diet. As a highschool person and young adult, I was the national champion in surfing, and was a professional athlete (surfer) before trading that life in for a college experience. I have three boys (18, 17, and 6- I live with the 6 year old and he IS my pride and joy!)
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? Yes, I believe in some entity greater than ourselves. It makes more sense to believe there are realities beyond our physical and mental cognition (like mathematics to ants) governing the laws of the universe and the operations (like evolution, weather) on this planet, as well as involvement in our personal matters and fortunes, than to believe it's all some cosmic accident. I studied philosophy and religion in college, and have my masters degree from Yale University in the philosphy of religion. I'm well aquainted with all the arguments for and against God's existence, and although some of my favorite philosophers were atheists (Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Sartre), along with my strong dislike of church, I think it takes more faith to believe that simple blind and dumb particles randomly (magically) combined to create chemicals, and so on and so forth to result in our species. Even the atheists like Dawkins and Hawking believe in a force behind it all; they just prefer to give it another name: Gravity (with a capital G).
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? My father was an avid reader of WWII stories and history. It's entertaining to me; reading about the battle of Stalingrad helps me to feel more cozy and comfortable in my own life and struggles, and I find war history fascinating... but as for power I have no desire to control others. I do, however STRONGLY hold fast to my own autonomy and freedom. I HATE being controlled, or told what to do. At my current job (real estate, apartment leasing, like on the HGTV show "Househunters International") this comes in the form of necessary red tape and paperwork, which I detest. I just want to make deals and get on with it, not get bogged down in some blind supervisor's pet project that I already know is futile.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? although I tend to intiate conversation, I am flexible in going with the flow of the conversation, and will go wherever it takes me... for a short while. My conversations usually evolve and settle into some sort of self-improvement advice or sharing (how walking 20 miles a day is helping me, or experiences in extricating one's self from a bad romantic relationship, or how to beat addiction).
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? I don't go to the doctor, and try to avoid hospitals. That being said, I care for my health as a top priority; I'd rather do it on my own terms than hear some doctor tell me what I need. I like to look and feel good, and care very much about my appearance and overall health.
What do you think of daily chores? I love the feeling of accomplishment when I complete my chores... but I struggle with doing them.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. I just finished the entire collection of Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 novels, and own all the movies. Like many men (at least I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to admit it) I would love to be like this guy!! I enjoy some 1960's shows, like the Twilight Zone, and Star Trek (including the new ones), all in that as works of art, these shows invite us to rethink our own attitudes and actions in the here & now. I also still dabble in philosophy, and have been reading MBTI and Socionics books in attempts to more precisely know my type. In MBTI it seems clear that I am an ESTP, but in Socionics I'm not so sure; I could be an SLE?... but they seem more power-driven over others, like a MBTI ENTJ, than me.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? memories of my childhood, both happy and sad, and the loss of innocence (pre-puberty) makes me sad and nostalgic, and consequently I rarely allow myself to go there, preferring to focus on the here and now. While all my friends (and my own brother) are posting things on Facebook about events and accomplishments 20 years ago, I'm focused on NOT on my past surfing or college achievements, but on what I'm achieving RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, like getting four leases in one day (nobody does that!).
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? When I feel physically well and alive and healthy during a hike, or out in the ocean, or in a aesthetically pleasing home or work environment, in my element.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? Until this year, I had neve in my adult like been caught up in taxes, I've had some streaks of hedonistic lifestyle (cocaine & alcohol) that have hurt me financially (luckily not my health or legal issues) and generally I can act like a big kid, not being mindful enough of the consequences of my actions. I'm like the grasshopper who didn't save for the winter... At my best I feel capable of anything, but now in my forties I realize I've wasted a lot of time in my life. My focus and enjoyment and maximizing my pleasure in the present moment has kept me from really learning the lessons of my past mistakes, and has put my future at risk.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? I'm excellent in a crisis; I'm strong and healthy and athletic; I'm good-looking, I have nice clothes and a beautiful nice car. I'm creative, I adjust well, I never get anxiety nor do I feel depressed, I don't need any medications, I'm happy without drugs or alcohol, I feel very organized in my life right now. I'm doing better now than I ever have.
In what areas of your life would you like help? I want to know my Socionics type!! Really, getting acclimated with this system should help me further my personal and professional development, and help me manage these relationships more successfully in my journey of lifelong learning and self-improvement.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Getting behind on crap legislative things; paperwork, taxes, bills, dentist checkups, that sort of thing. I feel burdened by things like this.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I like people who "have it together." I hate people (personally AND in professional settings) who partake in double-standards "I get to do this but you are in trouble if you do the same thing." I get along with quiet but curious people. Malleable people, who like to go with the flow, and are agreeable; these are the types of people I like to be around.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? I love romance and sex, but with my attention on myself and my real estate work I haven't had much time for it lately (especially compared with my life as a whole- I've been with a lot of women). I prefer the qualities I listed above; I like someone who is stable, who can take care of the legislative things in life I'm not so good or keen at doing.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? I want my children to be strong, self-sufficient, and happy. My main concerns are drugs, loser mentality, and bad relationships ruining their lives. All I can do is lead by example and give advice when I can or will be heard. I'd like them to be able to avoid the mistakes I've made....
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? I try to reaso with them (if I know I'm right) to show where my belief is "better." If they listen, great, if not, fine; but if they attack my beliefs then I'll try to be civil and focus on the issue (not the person) but ultimately if the disagreement persists I grow frustrated and feel like I'm wasting my time and leave the conversation.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. Society is just a mass of people I have to deal with and navagate through to do what I want to do. From a Gods-eye (even from a helecopter) perspective the freeways look like ant-trails... a big social problem.. I tend to worry about myself more than them.. I guess I'll say homelessness. In Los Angeles it's difficult to take a walk without running into several homeless people. We need to do something about it, but that's for the government "the they" to figure out.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? I am friendly with a lot of people, but given my family (my 6 year old) and working 6 days a week, I seem somewhat of a loner in this period of my life; it's been over a year since I did anything with a friend (besides holday work parties). I tend to act the same at work as I do at home, which I like about myself but gets me into trouble sometimes. I work hard and play hard when I play... I can work 6days a week because I'm productive and I make it fun.
How do you behave around strangers? I'm friendly towards strangers; ultimately we're all strangers to one-another!
